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Warning: self deprecation

Ryan just started running. And he ran, no one followed him, no one cared.

Ryan finally stopped running once he reached a bus stop. He just needed to leave, he needed to go somewhere else.

So he took the two dollars that were in his shorts pocket for no reason and feed them to the busses machine.

Ryan sat down as far away as he could from everyone. He felt the hot steamy tears roll down his cheeks as he sat down. Looking out the window didn't mean they weren't there.

Two hours later he was the only one on the bus.

"Ok kid, do you know where you're going?" The bus driver asked turning back to look at Ryan. Ryan nodded and pointed forward.

"It's the next stop s-sir." Ryan said. His eyes sting from crying. The sun had set and now it was dark. Everything was lit by street lights.

"Ok kid." The bus driver stopped and Ryan stopped up clutching his cleats to his chest. "Hey kid," Ryan turned around right before he got off the bus. "Stay safe." Ryan nodded to the man and got off the bus.

Did Ryan know where he was? No. Did he care? No.

All Ryan could think of to do was to start walking. So that's what he did, he walked.

And walked.

And walked.

For hours, and hours.

Until he stopped and just sat down. He'd given up.

"I'm worthless." Ryan sobbed pulling his knees to his chest and leaning back on some building. "Why. W-why." Ryan sobbed putting his hand in his hair crying some more. "I hate myself! I hate myself!" Ryan hit his head on his knee. "You hurt Brendon! The only person you care about!" Ryan threw his head back and looked at the night sky tears rolling down his cheeks, and the wind stinging his eyes.

"He's never going to care." Ryan mumbled letting the tears fall to the ground.














A/N
You know judging by this chapter you would think I had a bad day, when I actually had a pretty good day
Sorry for the sad chapter but yes it will get better trust me💞💞
So today sofia asked my crush if he needed a pen and he said no and then she walked away and I had one of her pens bc I don't have any and he turned to me and asked if I had any so I gave him the one sofia gave to me then got another from sofia but he didn't like the pen so I gave him the other one ahhh lol
Also something my math teacher will scream when drawing triangles and it's quite alarming when you're drawing and not paying attention
And recently haven sofia and I have been going to the back of the field and sitting against the fence and try and do the grass whistle blow thing and today some of the boys came over and started kicking soccer balls and basketballs ya is when he didn't do anything but my crush wouldn't kick it at us which is very nice
Also just be warned that there may not be an update tomorrow bc it's the plays and for some reason all of us have to stay after school for four hours until our plays start and we have to stay at the church that's like less than two minutes from my house it's so stupid so I'm sure I'll have some stories from that
So yeah
•Song Suggestion•: Before You Start Your Day by Twenty Øne Piløts
(Also I listened to sad tøp songs while writing this)
Anyways

~enjoy killjoys~

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