How it started

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Sitting on the sand, watching the waves reigning the ocean. The hot wind hitting my flesh, causing my skin to redden. The sky where the clouds are slightly covering the sun. People running along, enjoying their beachwears. Definitely it's going to be a week of tanning.

"Know what Iyah i think it's better if we go to that bar later." Irene suggested, while putting some tanning spray on her skin.

We reached the beach two hours before the clock ticks at twelve. The hotness around the area didn't stop us to go near the water.

"It's up to you girls, just want to enjoy this one week freedom!" It's a stress free week, no work, no cocky Mr. Adams and no mom's pushy decision around me.

Speaking of my mom, you know how she agree about this one week vacation? It's just like this, Tina, the best actress among us three, promise her the worst thing ever. She told my mom that i need to go to beach because i will find a man here that can be my boyfriend. So that's tough, right?

"Oh Irene, Nico texted me, they are on their way now." Tina said. Lying here on the beach mat while tanning was the best thing so far from me. I know that lot of girls love beach and i'm not one of them.

"He texted me also, he has a company." Irene squealed. What is this two talking about? Dismissing them, i get up and decided for a swim. Walking towards the shoreline, i know some are looking at me, i can see it from the corner of my eyes even though i'm wearing my sunnies.

Once my feet hit the water, a memory came flashing in my mind. Beach is one of the places that i promise to myself that i will not go back again. But why i am here? One thing, i just want to face my past and my fear.

I had my first boyfriend when i was in first year college. He's Alvin, a cool guy from the varsity team and really a play boy, which is really true.

Alvin courted me a month after the class started. He was always giving me flowers, chocolates or should i say gifts, just to have my yes. I know what Alvin is, he plays with the girls and dump it after. But i, being the innocent one on having a boyfriend, tried it and see if having a boyfriend was really good.

We got together after he courted me for three weeks. The news was spread around the campus and as expected, many girls started to hate me. They were throwing me bitch words and those blackmails just to get away from Alvin. I was even called a 'freshmen's whore'. I ignored everything by the help of myself.

Our relationship got deeper, i am still hearing rumors that Alvin was having sex with other girls, kissing other girls on the locker rooms, or even the news that Alvin knock up some random girls, which is not true as per Alvin. I believed him, because i love him that time.

I never told to my parents that i have a boyfriend. Mom has a very high standard regarding boys. Alvin came from a rich family, but not the boyfriend material when you see him. He got good looks but he's definitely not the one you can present to your family.

One day, Alvin and i decided to go to beach for our eight month of being together. It was a plan and i even ditch on school for that celebration. My friends didn't notice that i am not on the university that day which is i'm thankful for and glad because they did not tell that to my parents.

As that day goes by on the beach, Alvin asked me to go with him on our room cottage to get his phone, which is i agreed on. I can still recall what really happened on that room on that day.

"Alvin, please i'm not ready for it." I begged, loosing his hold from my arms that was getting tighter in every move that i am doing.

"It's just a sex Aliyah, please, i thought you love me." He keeps his hold on my wrist, tighter and getting more intense. Without getting a response from me, he started to kiss me, but i'm not meeting those kiss because i'm turning my head on other direction.

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