c h a p t e r | f o u r

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"Your hope dangling by a string
I'll share in your suffering to make you well, to make you well" - Phillip Phillips

-🧠-

It had been three weeks since I found out I was dying. That's almost a month. I had hung out with my father more, and I loved being with him. He's truly such a great father, I've been blessed to have him with me. I've also gone to school, which wasn't that fun. But I need to experience everything a few more times before I go. Over the last year, I became friends with the 'queen' of the school. Her name's Clara, but I call her C. She gets stereotyped since she's really popular as well, so we hit it off instantly. She is actually really nice and super funny. I had hung out with her a lot, too.

Overall, these last three weeks have been really great. I sure will miss this life, it's been fun. I also hope that my father will be okay. At least he won't be as stressed out anymore, but he loves me a lot, so he'll probably be sad. I just hope he doesn't cry, I hate seeing him cry. I've only ever seen him cry twice, once when he found out I had cancer and when he found out I was dying.

Anyways, today I didn't really do anything, and since it's Saturday, I didn't have school. I decided that I wanted to call Sarah and tell her about the news. I didn't have anything better to do, and she would need to know. I walked upstairs to my room, my footsteps echoing through the empty house. I closed my room door and started playing music. Gone Gone Gone by Phillip Phillips was playing through my speakers. I flopped down on my bed and dialed Sarah's number. It rang two times before she picked up.

"Hey Day! I missed you so much girlie!"

I brought the phone away from my ear a little bit as my friend yelled into the phone. I giggled at her enthusiasm.

"Hey girl hey. Do you have a few minutes to talk? I, uh, have something to tell you."

I heard her breathing from the other side. She was such a calm person, and so positive too. I didn't really know how she would react. My anxiety kicked in and I started getting nervous.

"I have all day if it means talking to you! What's up?"

I braced myself. I gripped my phone tighter since my palms were so sweaty.

"As you know I take monthly tests so the doctors can see how I'm doing."

I paused and she stayed quiet. I continued.

"Well, one month ago I took a test, and I wanted to tell you about the results."

She always insisted that I tell her the results of my tests.

"Is everything okay? You're talking really slow."

If only she knew I was talking slow so I won't throw up on my phone. Damn my nervous nausea.

"Well, uh, Mark came over and told me that," I paused, trying to breathe a little. "I, well, I-"

"Day! Spit it out! Seriously!"

"Okay, okay. He told me that I only have to months left to live. Which means that now if you do the math I only have about one month or less to live! But it's okay and I'm doing okay because I'm just living everyday like it's my last and I-"

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