All of the Tears I Shed For You

Chapter 15

"Living with myself was hard. Knowing everything I did was wrong, making mistakes wherever I went... It became unbearable. Having secrets kept from me and rain checks everyday was hard to go through. I just wanted it all to stop. I wanted all of it to go away.  I started to act differently when I felt this way. I started taking more risks and rebelling rules. I just wanted to get the attention to get help, even when I tried to convince myself it wasn't for attention. I just wanted someone there, and since Riley was too busy with Lucas, I started to feel alone and stuck. Like no one was ever going to help me out. I expressed my feelings and eventually got out of the darkness. Let me tell you, If you don't get help soon enough, you'll drown," ~Maya Hunter (Hart)

(Maya's POV)
Soon enough, Kermit was banging on the door or trying to break the windows. He'd do anything to get inside, but what if he does find a way in? He could kill them! What would happen to Carmen if they were hurt? It was too much to think about while I was putting all of my weight on the door. Even with the dresser barricading, the door got wider and wider each time Kermit slammed into it. The occasional scream or shriek from the kids made me even more nervous. I just wish I was back home. Back with Riley, Lucas and Farkle. Even Zay and Isadora. I'd rather be the fifth wheel along with Farkle instead of here. I'd rather be anywhere else, except dead. I've learned over the past two weeks here, that it's better than nothing. It's better than being dead. I've finally realized that hurting myself isn't the answer. It doesn't get me anywhere. Hurting myself just proves my worst fear, loosing the ones I love most. And why on earth would I want to do that? The realization just came through and I could see clearly. It all made sense. But through all of the good, there's still bad. And through bad there is good.....Ugh Now I sound like Matthews.

"Open this door!" I heard him grunt. I didn't say anything back, I just kept pushing and pushing. My strength wouldn't be able to hold him back for long. Suddenly, I felt the dresser tipping underneath me, since I was standing on it. "Maya, look out!" I heard Lilly yell and the boys rushed to push it back up. It was tipping to the point that I was balancing on the edge of the back end of the dresser. "No, its about to tip, hurry out of the way!" I screamed back at them. They obeyed, but I was falling back, then forward. When you think of a dresser, you probably think of a small one with the surface to your waist; no this dresser was taller than me. It was about 6' 3", so if I were to fall, it would leave a mark.

"I cant hold on much longer!" I whispered to myself. My toes were anchoring the dresser while I held onto the door frame. "Maya, keep holding on!" Cole exclaimed. I smiled back at him, but gridded my teeth when I turned back. This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. On the outside, I tried to make it seem like I had it under control, like I knew what I was doing, but on the inside, my mind was screaming for help.

"Open the door!" Kermit screamed through the crack. I didn't say anything back to him, I just tried with all of my strength and weight to keep the door closed. "Open the door!" He repeated, this time with drain in his voice. He was getting exhausted from fighting. I was too, but I kept it closed. He kept hitting and kicking, but each blow to the door became slower and farther apart. "I-I could do this all day!" He exclaimed while panting. He shallowed and after a minute, he gave up. My fingers covered with sweat. "I can't hold on much longer!" I whispered to the closed closet doors. After a few seconds of silence, I had to think fast.

  In the end, I didn't think. I let go. I just closed my eyes and relaxed all muscles that supported me. And I fell on top of the tipped dresser. But it was peaceful; as I fell, it was like I was in slow motion. I was calm, not afraid. Once I opened my eyes, my old scar from the knife a few weeks ago was re-opened. And another think that was opened was the backside of the dresser. My fist had punched through the light board. I stared at it, which would have normally set off the pain, but I didn't feel anything. I tried to pull my arm free, but I couldn't get my fist through the hole again. "Maya, are you okay?" I heard one of the kids yell out the crack of the closet. I panted my breath and lied to them, "Uh, yeah I'm fine. Nothing happened." They started to come out of the closet until I screamed, "No! Get back inside! I-I mean...uh he might be coming back.." they slowly slid the closet door closed again.

  After new painful pulls, I finally got my arm out of the back board of the dresser. I was surprised that Kermit hadn't returned to break down the door with a hammer. Today I wore a belt that was actually a scarf. I never thought It'd come in handy, but I took it out and wrapped it around my wrist. I found enough strength to lift the dresser, so I scooted it in front of the closet, but slipped inside before I barricaded it. "Why do you have that on your arm?" Lilly whispered into my ear. I glanced down at it and hesitated, thinking up what to say, "It's a, um, it's a new fashion trend." That doesn't sound made up. But she's like seven so I think she'll buy it, I think to myself.

Short after, the banging started again; and the twisting of the lock on the door. There was another silence for a few minutes, but it and back even worse. At this rate, he's probably using a hammer to break down the door. I try to shush the kid's sobs, but it wouldn't matter anyways because the hammering over powered their cries. Suddenly after a two second silence, another Big Bang comes from the dropping door. "Come out of there!" He screams. I peer through the closet crack and see him pull away the dresser. No, no, no! I think. He can't get away with all of this hurt, all of this abuse! I think as fast as I can, so I throw a stray blanket over the kids. The door slides open and I look up to see his bloody face staring down at me. "No!" I scream as he reaches down. He grabs me and yanks me up. "You can't! You-you cant!" I scream.

The next thing I know,

Everything is black...