The Fast And The Furious / jb ° jariana

Chapter 8

JUSTIN'S POV

I walked down the stairs to see Dom and Brian were just sitting and talking. "What the hell are yall talking about?" I questioned knowing that they probably expected me and Kelsey were doing something up there. 

Brian shrugged, "Nothing." 

I laughed sarcastically, "Sure. Just like you asked if her pussy was made of a gold." 

Brian then realized I had a point, "Okay but now I see how she makes you feel. So imma let her be."

 I rolled my eyes, "She is just a girl." 

Brian continued, "She is just your hoe." 

Dom shot a glare at Brian, "Leave him alone."

Brian spit back, "Last time I checked. Justin killed his last girlfriend and he made a deal with us. He wouldn't get emotionally involved with another girl for not only his sake but our sake."

 I got up in his face and whispered with an angry  defensive tone, "Last time I checked, you tried shit with my sister and guess what?" 

Brian sat quiet waiting for me to continue. I continued, "If it wasn't for me breaking it off. You would have hurt her emotionally and physically." Brian got up not having another one of his rhetorical, sarcastic answers.

I sat down next to Dom. Dom glared at me, "You don't bring up the past Justin. Especially all of you and your family's pasts." 

I locked my jaw, "I don't care. He shouldn't have brought up how I killed-" A million things came to my mind. I didn't just kill my ex girlfriend. I killed many people. My anger gets out of control and I can't handle it. Dom was the only who helped me keep me back and lose my anger. 

Dom continued, "Justin, the past is the past. She screwed you over anyways." 

I shook my head, "Dom but that's the thing. I could've done something with my life. I could of been a rich guy living out my life with my wife and kids." 

Dom stopped me before I could continue any further, "Justin, you still can. You just got to learn how to control your anger better."

I stared off into space. I couldn't control anything. I couldn't control my anger and how one minute I could be making love to you but then the next minute when you piss me off. I would choke till death. I always dreamed about going to college and being this outstanding person but I came out opposite. I couldn't just have kids or have a healthy relationship because of my bad decisions. My kids would end up getting hurt by my outside enemies or even....me. The cops would always be checking up on me. I'd have to worry about more people trying to hurt my wife or kids and that just adds onto the list of people that I have to look after. No, I would never be able to live out my dreams or my dream job. I got so caught up and angry and lost it with Troy and my own fucking brother, Jaxon. Jaxon always had it out for me, after all that I had done for him.

Dom patted me on the shoulder, "I'm going upstairs. Will you be okay for the rest of night?" 

I looked up at him and shook him off, "Yeah. I'm fine." I sat staring at blank space. No I wasn't fine. I was never fine. I could tell everyone that im okay but in reality im not. I have so much shit on my plate and it seems as I got older that my problems and responsibilities caught up with me. Having voices tell me things. I'm not possessed but sometimes I feel like i'm not even possessed by the devil. I'm possessed with my own demons. Demons that I have created over time in my life. I try to ignore them but they become louder and they make me lose my train of thought where I listen to them to have them disappear. I never let no one on my problems because as much as it bothers me. I want to look like the strong person who can overcome anything but inside, mentally and emotionally... I am beyond fucked up.