Love in the Time of Trials

Chapter 5: A Tension

Nothing. It was the word that Guzma loved to use the most, yet he wondered if perhaps it was masking some other pain. Ash had met his own fair share of people hiding vast pain. Suddenly, his hand began to shake, thinking of that word. Nothing. It was such a decisive, nasty word. Perhaps it was from the negative connotations that he had associated with it all his life. He was supposed to be nothing. His accomplishments had always seemed to account to nothing. Ash understood the word "nothing" just as much as any other trainer or person. The shaking stopped and Ash looked over to the still unresponsive Gladion.

He sighed. It was time to try and fix things.

"Gladion," Ash said, speaking across the room. The boy gave a start, looking up. He found Ash, and the raven-haired trainer could confirm how positively lost he looked in so many respects. Like a small child, one that he'd never grown out of, or perhaps had forced himself to grow out of so fast it made him strive for independence to the point of being foolhardy. At the very least, despite his seemingly limited accomplishments, Ash had the lesson of working with others and one's own Pokémon drilled into his head. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," he said. His hand was shaking, clutching at his pokeball. "Not good enough..."

"What was that?" Gladion didn't respond, still staring at the pokeball, looking like he wanted to throw it so far away.

"We're still not good enough!" he suddenly roared, rearing back as if to pitch the ball forward but stopping himself. "What's the point if we don't grow stronger? What's the point if we can't...?"

"It's not all about winning. You don't need to do everything alone," Ash told him, stepping closer to him in order to console him. Gladion stood, getting right in Ash's face angrily, suddenly gripping at the boy's vest. Now, even closer up, Ash could see all the minute tears and frayed edges of his clothing.

"Shut up! What do you know? !" he screamed, some of his spit flying in Ash's face. The raven-haired trainer didn't stagger or flinch, allowing Gladion's rage to momentarily pour out at him. He reached up, clasping the boy's wrists, feeling his Z-Ring underneath his sleeves and pulling them away. Closer up, he could see there was a bruise on Gladion's face, the mark he had noticed somewhat earlier, and wondered how it had gotten there.

"I know because I've been there," he said softly. Gladion tried to ignore him, wrenching himself away. His hand traveled to his face and he ran his hands manically through his hair.

"I can't...I'm not...strong enough...that's why I have to..." Gladion sounded beyond lost. Perhaps that had been the reason he was after Lillie. Had he given in to some weakness of his, one that Ash didn't know about? He wasn't entirely sure, but Ash wanted to try and find out, so he reached forward again to put a hand on his shoulder.

"You're not alone."

"I am alone," Gladion said, turning and looking at him without the rage for once. "Or did you forget what happened in Heahea?"

"I have no idea why you did that, Gladion, but I'm sure you had your reasons," Ash said. In truth, he wanted to know just what was motivating Gladion behind his actions, but chose not to push it in front of the seething teen. "Whatever they were, they don't matter. Nothing you did can't be repaired."

"Really?" He was disbelieving and abrasive, scoffing at the mere mention of it and turning away once again. Silence fell between the two of them, and Ash could hear both of their breaths in the room. "You're a good person...and a great friend, Ash. I'm not, though."

"You just need to open up more."

"I don't want to open up more." The insistence was rather biting, making Ash take a step back at it, as though the boy was a snarling Pokémon, ready to use a Bite attack on him. "I told you, doing stuff like that only brings you pain."