illegirl ⌮ lee felix

c h a p t e r 21.

Jiyeon~

Avoid him as much as possible, I tell myself everyday.

Whenever I run into him at school, I immediately turn away and pretend as if he was a stranger. I feel guilty sometimes, but it's slightly getting better since Jennie's always been by my side.

I haven't talked to him for more than a month, and as much as possible- not even eye contact. That wasn't my rule, it was his. He completely doesn't want anything to do with me anymore... just like what I told him to do.

But why do I feel so guilty at times?

I love Jennie, but even though Felix is emotionally far away from me now... why does my heart keep on still screaming out his name?

Lee Felix.

I miss you already.

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Felix~

Kang Jiyeon.

I miss you so fucking much.

Every single day that goes by, seeing you with Jennie feels like a sword passing through my chest. The pain from when you first left me is still here. It didn't heal even a tad bit.

I just want to go up to you and hug you from behind, while telling you how much I love you.

Why was I so blind before?

"Jiyeon's inviting us over to her place tonight. You coming?" Hyunjin asked me.

"I wasn't invited, it was just you guys..." I sighed. I really miss spending time with her. Especially our small talks that later on escalate into something bigger and more interesting.

"Come on. It's not like she'll mind- I'll explain it, don't worry. Stop being such a party pooper," He spat.

"She told me to leave her alone. I'm just respecting her decisions."

"You can't ignore each other forever. You two were like best friends," Hyunjin mockingly says.

"Yes we can. That's exactly the deal, she told me to just ignore her forever. We were best friends; before Jennie got involved... and before those two little best friends slept with each other."

"Come on. If you really like her, go talk to her. I'm fine now with you liking her." Hyunjin patted my back.

"I don't know..." I want to, I really do. But I'm afraid of how she'll react if I break another promise.

"You're going to that get-together. Whether you like it or not."

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Jiyeon~

Jennie couldn't come to my little gathering, since she was really busy with her new part-time job. I'm really happy that she's starting to make better choices for herself.

I was peacefully sitting down on my sofa, trying to take a nap, when someone suddenly started abruptly knocking on the door.

"Coming!" I yelled and ran over to the door. It's been a while since I've had friends over... I never really go over to their house for breakfast anymore, after what happened.

I asked Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin and Jisung to come over. I didn't want much people- plus, everyone seems to be too busy anyways. The older ones are way too busy with university.

I opened the door, and the first person I see is...

The person who I missed so much.

"Felix..." I mumbled and didn't even realize that I said his name, until I saw his eyes grow wide. Suddenly my guilt is starting to fade away, and I'm really happy. I just want to cling my arms onto his shoulders, and hug him tightly...

"Sorry if you didn't want me to be here. Hyunjin forced me to come." He quietly said while looking down, avoiding any possible ways of eyecontact as much as possible.

He was forced.

My happiness suddenly disappeared and I felt furious.

"Why did you invite him? I said it was just supposed to be the four of you." I crossed my arms while lifting one of my eyebrows up. If he's going to be cold to me- then let me do the same.

"W-We brought him here because he's too loud in our dorms. We didn't want the hyungs to be interrupted by Felix's weird mosquito sounds..." Seungmin made a horrible excuse. Nice try, child.

"Whatever, just come in." I gestured them all to the dinning area, where I've already prepared some food from which I ordered down the streets. I made sure that there's no food poisoning this time.

"This looks awesome." Jisung exclaimed while putting down the big box of pizza that they bought.

"No more alcohol this time." Hyunjin joked and they all laughed except me and Felix. It's not funny.

The little glances and gestures, the desperation in his eyes, the longing for something- or someone...

I can sense what you're feeling, Felix.

I feel the same way too.

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I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS EXTRA CHAPTER THAT I PUBLISHED TODAY EHEHE

Song: Moon Taeil (문태일) — Because Of You (단 한 사람)