Trip Hazard

Lil' Jimmy

Isaac

I swagger out of the room. I think I've made a pretty incredible first impression. Once in the corridor, I reach in my bag and retrieve my phone. I text them about meeting for a rendez-vous for lunch.

Oof! A sweaty, oversized human being squishes me against a wall with considerable force. Wow. Who needs to buy some deodorant? That guy. Which shouldn't be hard, because these kids are hardly strapped for cash. LOL. I snigger to myself, but stop when I see a scrawny kid watching me from the other side, pity in his eyes. There's an instant understanding, I decide, you see I have nothing but respect for these dudes, I myself am a scrawny ass kid. Although anyone coming at me with that as an insult will be guaranteed to receive a kick in the shin. Just ask Xavier. He knows firsthand.

I figure instead of just approaching the boy like a normal person would (I think it's clear by now that I'm far from normal) I decide to attract his attention in the only way I can think of. I lob my phone straight at his head, to which he reacts with flailing limbs, he does not, by the way (if you couldn't already guess) catch said phone, and so we watch sorrowfully it's slow, intense fall down to the cold, waxy, linoleum floor. It thuds a couple of times and we both flinch each time it hits the ground. I'm not sure why I did that. I don't know why I do a lot of things these days, but it's best to roll with it. Maybe someone will dig it, one day.

When I'm with the gang, I'm pretty 'normal', but when I'm on my lonesome, I'm a 'flamboyant mess.' Oscar's words, not mine. By the time the phone has stopped, I'm close enough to recognise him as the boy who was being dragged down the hallway when we arrived.

"Hey, didn't I trip you up earlier?" I ask eagerly.

The boy doesn't react, he just looks at me. I contemplate doing something outrageous to stir a reaction, but he's looking at me like I'm weird enough as it is.

I carry on anyways; "Yeah, it's you. You ran past us, you seemed pretty hysterical. You said something about Armageddon?"

His eyes widen even more.

"Anyways, I'm Isaac."

I reach out to shake hands with him, but he still hasn't moved a muscle. Eh. Maybe it's fist bump culture here at Buckingham. I change my open hand to a fist but now he just looks more scared.

"And your name is?" I prompt him.

He seemed to come back down to Earth.

"Jimmy...my name's Jimmy." Or I think that's what he says, he's stammering quite a bit.

"Well, Jimmy, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." I'm posh for some reason now. "I don't suppose you could point me in the right direction for the canteen? I'm meeting my friends for a spot of lunch." Well, who would have known my posh alter-ego would make an appearance. He only comes out...well, never! Didn't realise I had one. I'm so going to freak the others out with this later.

Whilst I'm making this discovery, my face distorts in a range of weird and wonderful ways. You know the one, the one like when you figure out the nine times table trick as a kid. Life changer, that one. I know that much because Jimmy's looking at me quizzically again.

Jimmy shrugs, trying to be casual. As someone who uses that trick often, I see straight through it, but appreciate the effort.

"Sure, Canteen Two, right?"

Now it's my time to look confused. "Huh?"

Jimmy "Considering you're a Ranelagh ra—" He stops himself. "Considering you don't go here, I'm assuming it's Two."

"You can call me a rat, it's fine."

Jimmy's eyes bulge and he gulps loudly. "Regardless, Buckingham has two canteens and Two is for visitors. So that's where your friends probably are."