Tumblr Stories, Headcannons, and AUs{PJO/HoO}

Lonely together

Lonely together

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Nico spent a lot of time being in love with a boy who couldn't love him back. A boy with big green eyes and dark hair that curled when it got too long and strong shoulders who he could tell anything to. Except that he couldn't tell him everything, because in the end, despite all the kisses on the cheek and the brushing of fingers and the hand holding, Percy was in love with a girl.

Nico could remember standing there in his flat the June night when it had all fallen apart. He was drunk, but not really drunk enough to warrant his actions. A much more sober Percy had walked him to his door, a steadying hand on his lower back as he guided the stumbling boy into his apartment, smiling indulgently as Nico slurred nonsense at him.

"You going to be alright by yourself, Nico?" Percy asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"I don't know, you might have to tuck me in." Nico replied with a smile, slipping his dark blue jacket off and letting it fall to the floor.

"I'm sure you'll manage." Percy replied, his biceps flexing as he stretched his arms above his head, yawning widely. He'd looked really beautiful then, the lamplight casting shadows across his firm body. His eyes caught Nico's, wide and glassy and filled with a sincerity that made the words tumble from Nico's mouth before he could stop them.

"I'm in love with you." And Nico wanted to take them back, to push them back down his throat and lock them away forever, but it was too late, and Percy's eyes were widening first with surprise and then deep sympathetic sadness. And that was what hurt the most. Because Percy wasn't horrified or disgusted with Nico. That would have been easier.

"Oh Nico." He whispered softly and suddenly Nico could feel the tears prick at the backs of his eyes but damnit he was not going to cry, not in front of Percy. He opened his mouth, denials on his lips, but it was pointless. Percy could see through him, could see the truth is his eyes and he knew how much this was killing him and it killed Percy too, because he'd never be able to love Nico back, not matter how much he wanted to.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, holding his arms out to the dark haired boy. "I'm so so sorry."

And it was so typical Percy, so stupidly caring and sweet and accepting that Nico fell into his arms and squeezed his eyes shut as his eyelashes grew wet with tears he wouldn't let spill. His hands balled up in the soft cotton of Percy's tee shirt, his head resting in the crook of Percy's shoulder as he clung to him, feeling the low rumbling of Percy's voice as he apologized over and over for something that was never his fault.

xx

Percy never told the boys about that night. After he left, leaving Nico to lay on his kitchen floor and think about all the things he should have done differently, he never spoke of it again. Nico knew he remembered, he'd see it in his eyes sometimes when Percy looked at him, accompanied by a worry that made him want to rip his insides out, but he never spoke a word.

xx

It was odd, he didn't think he'd ever really seen Jason until that night. Of course he'd seen him, but he'd just been his mate, the laughing roman who was always up for a pint.

They were all together talking about relationships as if it was the most amazing thing ever, something Nico couldn't talk about, until Leo turned to him and started asking things.

So he got up halfway through a question, quietly sliding out of his chair and ignoring Frank's confused glance and Percy's panicked stare and slipping out the door with no explanation whatsoever. The boys would cover for him and, though he felt bad for putting them on the spot, he just couldn't do it anymore.