The Harrington Series Book#2: Naila's Misfortune

Chapter 11: Cries in the night

It's amazing how pain can bear positive fruit. 

My baby boy was born a little after 1am on the 30th of November.

After  laboring for six hours with Mel and Ivan trying to ease my pain, pushing, screaming and cursing myself mentally... after immense endless pain that I thought would never end, the joy overflowed to tears when I held my son, my very first child and hopefully my last given the horrors of child birth.

His big blue eyes are full of life. In tbe middle of all my joy I realized that his father has blue eyes too. It's really clear that it must be Cole. He has dark hair, a generous amount much like me. I can't stop smiling at him. I am grateful for a successful birth and a healthy boy. I wonder if he recognizes me as his mom. I hope he does because from this moment on, the wee lad is the only person my universe will revolve around.

I can't tear my eyes off him not even for a second.

He keeps staring a me too, not blinking even the slightest but as though he will miss a second if he does. I don't want to miss a second either.

"My beautiful lad." I whispered softly while looking up at Ivan and Mel who seem to agree with me. "He's perfect."

To think I wanted to get rid of him aches my heart. I am ashamed that I even had such thoughts. I would have missed out on this golden moment. Some things are too good to miss out on.

"What will you name him?" Mel asked, peeking at the little boy. "He's super cute."

I have thought of names but the problem will be his surname. I am not a Bellingerre by blood and I don't want to acknowledge Cole Michael Harrington as the father. That leaves me at a nasty crossroad over the identity I will give my child.

"How about Cole Michael?" Mel said making my smile fade just as fast as she has spoken. "I always liked that name. If you don't name your son Cole Michael, I'll name my son that some day."

I have never told her the identity of the man who was my son's father. But given the details the girl knowd about my personal life, it is like she lived in my inner circle. Who wouldn't fall for Cole Michael Harrington? The soft light blue eyes, the sweet smiles his warm nature sells him as the perfect guy. Mel may have a teenage crush on him but I know a side of him she doesn't show the world; the ugly side of him that has resulted in the little angel in my arms.

"How do you know Cole?" I can't help but ask.

"He's the perfect guy." She spoke like she was seeing the sun for the first time.

He's the devil.

"You don't have to give him a name right now." Ivan joined in when he noticed the tension between us. "My mother didn't give me a name for an entire month and I turned out all right. We can just give a temporary name for now."

"You're right. I don't have to give him a name right now." I agreed holding the result of my greatest low close to my heart. "Labels aren't necessary my little one. All you need to know is that you're mine and I love you."

My son may have been a result of brutality but nothing about him was brutal. He is beautiful and innocent. Cole hurt me but the result is ironically my greatest achievement and pride. Is it fair me to deprive him of his right to have his father's name as much as I can't get past what he has done?

I thought about that long and hard for the next couple of days as I struggled to be a mom. It hasn't been easy more so because my son is a light sleeper. I am constantly nursing him although he sometimes rejects my breast milk. On one particular night he cried so much that I broke down and cried along with him. I don't have anyone to guide me on how to handle his crying.