I'm adopted

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"I'm her mother."she said looking into my eyes. "what's your name." i asked trying to process everything she just told me in my mind. "my name is choi yoo-jung." she said. "i'm sorry,but i'm highly confused on why you say you're my mother when i have a mother." i said looking at her weirdly."i'm your birth mother,choi billie." she said with hope in her eyes. " can you stay right here,while i go put clothes on. i don't let people i don't know in my house."i said. she nodded.

I went upstairs in my room and grabbed some high shorts with a crop top and a blue jean jacket.

Then i grabbed some grey converse to wear for my shoes.

I went back down stairs where and went outside after closing the door behind me. She smiled at me then  walked closer to me. "So...i have a patio over there we can sit and talk at." I said pointing to the patio set near the fence. She nodded and we walked over and sat down.

She smiled at me then said. "So your Billie?" She said kinda amused."yep." I said kinda sassy while looking at her.  Even tho i was being  little rude to her,she kept her smile on her face. 

i probably don't want to admit that i'm adopted by my 'mother' because i don't want to be what those kids in school used to call me, they was so sure that i was not related to my mom and talked about me for not having real parents.

But I didn't let them get under my skin. My mom always told ms that if I let them get to me too much that it leaves to bad things like fighting and karma come striking me on the ass.

So I learned how to ignore their comments and got a life unlike those broke ass fuckers. Anyways back to my 'biological mothet',
She just starred at me,not saying anything.

"You are so beautiful, billie." She said still looking at me. "Thank you." I said sightly uncomfortable from her starring.

"So,since I'm your real daughter,tell me why you gave me up." I said looking at her,trying to find any type of guilt in her.

And yes of coarse I found some guilt in the her eyes once I said what I said. "It all started when your father became abusive, he would always come home drunk and started beating me. I'm not so sure what was with hi , but something was bothering him and he started drinking. He came home several and just slap me saying he got fired and my fought, that's when I realized he was always gonna be home.

" At first I thought he wouldn't ever hurt you because he loved you so much,that didn't think would go that far to hurt you. But I was wrong,he started hitting you because you was always crying. You never stopped so he beat me because I couldn't get you stop either so he beat you but all you did was cry even more."

"One day I just had enough of him abusing me and you that I waited till night and he was blacked out to pack me and your stuff and left the house. I went to sooyoung because she was the closest friend I had, I asked her if she had enough room for me and you to stay a little while until I get my stuff together."

"She said yes and we stayed with her. I found a full time at a restaurant to pay her and keep you healthy. I was losing so much,my mom died and nobody could help in my family to pay for her funeral or grave. I was at lost of hope and didn't think I could handle everything all by myself. Sooyoung was the only person who could help me out with everything."

"Then,I started getting thoughts that I was a burden to sooyoung and decided that I'll find a house and leave. When I told her she said no,but I still wanted to leave since I wanted to a good mother. But things got harder for me when I left and got on my own. You were bigger and wanted more stuff. So I tried in all my power to give you what you wanted but it was hard."

"She came over and told me that she want me to get myself a good job and live in a good house,she said She'll tale care of you for the time being. At first I hesitated but then agreed hoping it worked."

"It took awhile then i got a call from her and she updated me on how you were. I came and visited then I talked her after you went to sleep.
I told how life is not good for me and I needed her to adopt you and be your mother. She agreed right away and said she will take good care of you."

She finished with a few tears drying on her cheeks while I was balling. I wasn't stifling or making any sounds but was looking to the ground.

She looked at me and gave me a small smile and said not to cry and that she's sorry for not being a good mother to me,but I couldn't hold in my tears. She lifted my chin up and wiped my eyes with her thumbs.

I crashed myself to her and hugged her so tight. I was guilty in myself for being a bad baby,because she had to ho through bad things in life because of me.

"I'm so sorry you had to go thought that" I said in between sobs. She rubbed my back soothingly. We sat there for a couple more minutes until we heard a car pull up.

We broke the hug and looked to the direction of the car while wiping our tears. It was my mom or sooyoung. I'm not sure what to call her now.

She got out and looked our way. She started walking over to us. She stopped and I ran to her hiving the tightest hug that I could since I'm still pregnant. She hugged back saying that she's sorry for keeping it from me. All I could do was cry.

They both are my mothers,it doesn't matter if I'm not related to sooyoung. She's still my mom and I love them both sooo much.
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Hello again
I was kinda busy with school.

I wrote a new book about sugar and if you haven't read it go check it out.

I wrote a new book about sugar and if you haven't read it go check it out

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Sorry for the long wait again.

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