Don't You Dare

Chapter Eighty Two

I ran for hours till I realized where I'm suppose to be, who I'm suppose to be with. If I go to them this load won't feel so heavy. As I was running all the problems were racing in my brain. Becky, Derek, Arthur's parents, my future. I didn't know anything anymore. I thought everything would be fine when I found my mate, everything was suppose to be alright.

I was still in my wolf form when I howled. I knew he could hear me, it was just a matter of time when he would come. I knew he will come, he always comes. I howled again. It wasn't just any howl either. It was a distinctive one that was only between him and I. After awhile I heard the same kind of howl just awhile farther than me. I ran towards it as I howled again.

There he was. He was shifted too running towards me. I couldn't help but smile as I see the wind go through his fur. He stopped just a few feet away from me. I was happy to see him and he was happy too, until his eyes went sad.

I walked towards him, my best friend. Derek

I licked the side of his head and he rubbed his head on my neck. I knew he was going through a rough patch. He's usually not like this. Vulnerable. But I was the only family he has as he was the only family I have too.

He shifted back to human but I stayed in my wolf. I didn't care that he was naked, I seen him naked million of times. He then fell to his knees. His eyes showed brokenness and loss. He wasn't just depressed about Emily but the day it was. Today was the day his pack was burned down. The day he watched his family get tortured and killed but bad rouges. The day he lost everything. The only survivor.

When my parents died it was quick, they shouldn't have felt anything. I was thankful for that. I didn't want my parents to feel pain before they died, they didn't deserve that. But Derek...his parents must have felt agonizing pain before they died. On this day the flashbacks would go back to him, clear as day.

I walked over to him, my wolf licking his face. He wrapped his arms around me putting his head in my neck. He didn't cry though, he promised himself he won't cry anymore. He says he was to old for that. I would always tell him that its good to cry but he still wouldn't.

"See Iris. You're lucky you cant cry." Derek says to me as we walk towards the lake after a few days of just being our wolves. We were finally able to shift back into humans before we start to move again. I just scoffed at him.

"I wish I could. I miss it you know? The release of all that emotion. All I feel is anger. That's not luck" I told him as I go over to the lake and go on my knees washing my face with the clear cold water.

"Well I still wouldn't want to be able to cry. I hate crying. It makes me feel weak" He said as he drinks some of the water.

"Crying isn't weakness Derek, what you do as you cry determines if you're weak or not."

I shift back into human as he continues to hug me. I didn't care that I was now naked, even though I should since I have a mate now and mated. I hugged him back. I could feel he was trying not to cry.

"Please cry Derek, you need to cry. I don't want you to hold it in anymore. Its just going to hurt you more." I tell him and he lets go of me. I stare into his eyes. He was so broken, I hate seeing him like this. I put my hand on his cheek telling him its okay. That's when the tear fell. He hugs me again before he slowly slumps down. He rests his head on my chest as more tears fall. His arms are wrapped around my body as he silently sobs.

"Its hurts so much Iris. I hurt so much. I don't want to hurt anymore, please make it stop" He says as he cries and that breaks me. I hug him tightly.

It was more than a death of his parents or Emily. Its the pain he feels daily, he feels this physical pain on the daily and he doesn't know why. No wounds show, no blood, but it seemed to be agonizing to him. He has those daily pains and I have my nightmares. He told me they don't hurt so bad when I hold him. So every night that we were in the woods I would hold him during the night so he wouldn't hurt so bad and he will reassure me everything is alright when I woke up every morning.