"I'm exhausted" You groan as Dave shakes you awake, "I feel like we only just got to San Francisco"
"Well you better get your shit together because first of all its 4 in the afternoon and second its new years eve so its gonna be a late night"
"Oh please, its New Years Eve, the night will be done at like one am tops, its amateur hour." You say, rolling your eyes.
"Well we gotta change that! Come you're going to a Nirvana new years eve" He says and you giggle as he throws himself down next to you on the bed.
"Or we could just stay here. . ." He adds as an after thought, leaning over to kiss you.
"You wish!" You yell, kissing him lightly and then jumping up, "But it's a Nirvana new years eve!"
You go across the room to your suitcase and pull out a tight, tank-top style dress and your favorite jean jacket. You throw on some docs and thick socks and Dave puts on his own ensemble: a black hoodie, long johns and black basketball shorts.
Once you're both dressed you go out to the van outside the hotel with the rest of the band.
"Everyone in?" Asks the driver as you pile in next to Shelli and Krist. You wave to them and then greet Kurt and Courtney in the backseat.
Almost immediately after you sit down Dave pulls out a cigarette. As you drive to the venue you and Dave trade drags and talk amongst yourselves.
"So how have I not met the bands you're on tour with? You've been playing shows with them the past four days but you guys don't go out afterwards or anything?" You ask and he shrugs, "In the punk scene everyone was friends, what's different about this, you're all in the 'grunge' scene?" You ask and everyone groans.
"Say that word again and I'll puke all over this car" Courtney warns and you roll your eyes at her teasingly.
"I don't know. We just don't really know Pearl Jam, I talked to them at sound check once, they seem like cool guys, I don't really know what the problem is. As for the Peppers, you've met them dude, multiple times! We were with them a few nights ago, out drinking with Chad." Dave reminds you.
"Oh duh! Right, I love Chad. I want to meet Pearl Jam though" You reply and Dave chuckles before putting his arm around your shoulders.
"I'll see what I can do princess" He whispers.
Once you get to the venue you've barely put your stuff down before Dave comes in to tell you Pearl Jam are still on stage doing sound check.
"I can't wait to meet them, I heard one of their songs on the radio the other day and I really, really liked it! Would it be weird to tell them that?" You ask and Dave laughs.
"Any press is good press I guess" He shrugs and places a hand at the small of your back, leading you to the stage where they're practicing. You see Kurt and Courtney standing to the side, sort of talking but more so whispering among themselves.
As you watch the band there's something familiar about the lead singer's silhouette and demeanor too, but you can't put your finger on what. However, when he turns around at the end of the song your breath catches in your throat.
"Jules?" Eddie Vedder says as he makes eye contact with you, "What are you doing here?"
"Uh, hey Ed" You say tentatively, giving him a hug in greeting, "Long time no see."
"Seriously though, how'd you get backstage?" He asks, a grin on his face so genuine that you can't help but smile back.
"My um—I know Dave, the drummer for Nirvana" You say and Eddie's eyebrows wrinkle together.
"That would be me, I think we met before, I'm Dave" Says Dave, immediately jumping into the conversation and you can tell he's curious about how you know Eddie so well.
"Hey man! Its crazy you know Jules, honestly what a small world" He says as the rest of the room stares at you in awkward silence, even Courtney and Kurt stopped their conversation to watch what was happening.
"Alright, well we should get back to sound check, but Jules come find me later—lets catch up" Ed says and you nod.
"Of course!" You reply and Dave practically pulls you out of the room.
"How do you know that guy?" Dave asks, barely able to control his curiosity for the time it takes you to get backstage again.
"Well, we dated for a little bit" You admit and Dave looks taken aback.
"I thought you didn't date anyone?" He exclaims and you shake your head. You're afraid he wants to fight about this and you are trying to do everything you could so that didn't happen.
"I said I didn't date anyone who compared to you, which is true" You correct him, "But I dated Ed." You add, looking down at your feet.
"For how long? Was it serious?" He asks and you chew the inside of your cheek as you weight the pros and cons of being honest versus keeping Dave's feelings from being hurt hours before a show.
"It was just a few months, but it was pretty serious. I think I loved him Dave...if I didn't go back to school...I don't know what I would've happened" You say, deciding honestly is always the best policy but feeling your resolve falter when you see Dave's face.
"What?" He says breathlessly, looking as though his heart just fell through his stomach.
"I'm sorry Dave" You whisper, "I didn't mean to hide anything from you"
"When did you know him?" Dave asks quietly.
"A couple summers ago, after my dad died my mom sent me to my grandma's house in San Diego for the summer just so I could get away from everything. And Eddie lived down the street from me and he worked security at a bar where I was a waitress and we just bonded kind of immediately. He was on a break with his girlfriend who was back in Chicago, and I was pretty painfully single..." You attempt to explain but you can tell Dave isn't really listening.
"Listen Dave, he's a really great guy" You add and Dave sighs.
"I just, listen Jules I just need a minute—I can't even imagine you with another guy... I can't. I know its dumb but I sort of just imagined you were like celibate while we were apart."
"Come on Dave" You groan and he frowns as you roll your eyes, "Were you celibate while we were apart?" You ask with an eyebrow raised and he doesn't say anything.
"I gotta go, I'll have a smoke or something—I need to think" He says and you don't even bother to follow him.
You wait in the green room for half an hour before deciding to go out and find him.
"Hey" You say lamely as you see him sitting on the stoop in the alley, kicking gravel around with his shoe.
"Hi" He replies quietly.
"I thought you were just coming out for a smoke? Did you smoke the whole pack?" You joke.
"Nah, I just needed a little bit of alone time" He says with a shrug as you sit down to him.
"Listen, I know you're upset about Ed and I but seriously it was no big deal. Sure, I dated him but if anything you should be happy it was him and not someone else, he's such a good guy-" You ramble but Dave cuts you off.
"I'm not upset about the guy, I'm not upset with you or him." He says and you give him a confused look.
"Well you still seem upset, what's wrong?" You ask.
"I'm just mad I ever let you go, I should've fought harder for you, been a better boyfriend. Then you wouldn't have had to move on to him. I should've been the one there for you when your dad died. I want to be the one who takes care of you" He laments before backtracking a bit, "I'm glad he's a good guy, I'm glad it wasn't some douche, he seems like a genuine, humble guy—I'm more mad at myself than anything else."
"Look at me Dave" You sigh, gently turning his face towards you, "I know it sucks that we were ever apart. I totally agree with you...in some ways. But in other ways I feel like we needed the time apart, without it we wouldn't be the people we are now. I love the person you are right now and the person I am but we probably wouldn't be the same if we had been together for the past six years."
He nods in agreement but still doesn't look convinced.
"Just put it in perspective, I know you know where I'm coming from." You repeat your sentiment, "Baby appreciate where we are right now, in San Francisco, on the eve of 1992, together! Don't dwell on what happened before this, lets just focus on our Nirvana new years eve!"
He can't help but laugh at your obviously forced enthusiasm and kisses your nose lightly.
"If you insist" He says before getting up and pulling you up with him.
The rest of the night is drama-free, for once there is little to no tension between the band members. You and Courtney get along and dance together during the majority of the after party, ditching your respective boyfriends.
Just before midnight you and Dave find each other again. He holds you close as the music gets louder as the countdown begins.
"I just wanted to tell you Dave, whatever we're doing right now—I'm so happy we're doing it" You whisper, pulling him even closer to you.
"5. . .4. . .3. . .2. . ." The DJ counts down and Dave smiles down at you lovingly.
". . .1" Screams the DJ and Dave kisses you.
"Happy new year" You scream and he laughs at your seemingly abundant energy.
"Happy fucking new year princess" He screams back, grabbing you and pulling you in for another kiss.
