Tease? (Mavi)

Sudden pt.1

A/N: Let's just pretend that I didn't forget to download Wattpad on my new iPod and never continue this story...

Whatever I was planning to do with it has certainly slipped my mind, so I think I'll have some fun and completely derail this story into something very different than before. Trigger warning that I can't go into detail about without spoilers.

~
I must have drifted off during what we called 'cuddle time'. I wake to the vibrations of the phone in Avi's pant pocket. Unsure of how big of a deal this is to him, I hesitantly pull out and answer the call.

"I've got pretty unnerving news" I hear Kirstie frantically blurt out when she hears the call connect.

"...hello to you too, I guess. What's up? Is everyone okay?" I optimistically question.

"Are you in a safe place right now? Not in the middle of anything?" She checks, worrying me for real this time.

"Yes... now you're really worrying me"

"Kevin was hit by a drunk driver" she finally blurts out, and my heart sinks.

"I'll let Avi know. Talk to you later, Kirst." I say after a long, grim pause.

After so much love in such a short time, I'm immediately met with an intense pain that I can't even understand right now. Of all people to have this happen to, it was the hardworking, always worshipping, kind and ambitious, never a dull moment, Kevin? I'll never say that someone deserves this, but in a reality where they do, Kevin deserves it the least out of any person, ever. I'm beside myself. How am I supposed to wake up his roommate and closest friend and break the news? Will he ever be okay after this? Will we ever be okay after this? There goes the band. There goes our friend. He's gone.

I feel Avi stir beside me. He sits up and immediately notices my absolutely distraught expression.

"Are you okay, Mitchie? You don't look okay..." Avi asks, concerned.

"No..." tears well up in my eyes. "I'm really not okay. I just got off the phone with Kirstie..."

"Is she okay?" Avi interrupts.

"She actually composed herself pretty well, but my guess is that she isn't. Kevin is gone, Avi. He was hit by a drunk driver." Tears immediately cascade from my eyes and I barely manage to choke out the last words.

"N-no... I can't believe it. Not Kevin. He's- he" Avi let out a deep breath before losing his ability to converse. I'd never seen him break like that before. He tried to comfort me through our collective tears, but neither of us were strong enough to do anything but weep.  We could both tell that the other needed someone, but they also needed space because that someone was Kevin.

"I'm... gonna go..." I trail off, wanting to escape this situation as if it would change anything.

"Why Mitch? Don't you need me right now?" Avi pleaded me to stay.

"I need a chance to collect my thoughts, and I don't want you to have to watch that process. Take some time to grieve, Avi. We both need it." And with that, I exit his house and head home.

Upon arrival I run into Scott, who evidently has heard the news. Instead of speaking we share a knowing glance, having lost people together before. This time was different, but the grieving period was the same. I needed to be alone.

I migrate to my room in silence, not wanting to stop the thoughts that scream 'this isn't real'. My usually warm bed feels like uneven ice. My skin is almost numb and I can't feel my face. I step into the bathroom and look at my reflection in the mirror.

"Dear diary. Fuck. I don't care if Scott can hear me. Fuck. Did you curse me? Did you curse me, you fucking awful reflective surface? I would break you if I could! Fuuuuck." I pace around the room and cry more before looking back up at myself. "It is SO frustrating that there was nothing I could do. And there's no one to blame! Sure, the guy is in jail at this point, but he didn't want to kill Kevin, it was just an ACCIDENT. Is that supposed to make me feel better? Well it doesn't matter! He's still gone! He's..." I briefly recall how Avi's breath hitched when he said those words, and cry disgustingly as a result. This is going to hurt him even more than it's hurting me. I can't even fathom the pain he's in, and he wanted me to stay...

What a terrible boyfriend I've been. He was hinting that he needed me and all I did was think of myself. I didn't want him to see me ugly cry over and over again, but who cares about that? What if he wanted support? He needs it more than I do right now. I've gotta go back to him.

I dart back out of the house without a word. Past Scott, past everything. I need to get to Avi. Driving back to his house was such an awful experience. The entire way I felt the pain of loss, yet also a strong guilt that came with what I felt was betraying the love of my life. I just hope he can find it in himself to forgive me.