Used and Abused

Chapter 15; Finding....

Miley's p.o.v

I felt misplaced and unwanted in this god forsaken place. The only person I really talked to was Justin, and Sam. Now that Justin was gone that left me with Sam. Not that there was a problem with that.

Right now, Sam isn't in a good place. It seems to all be catching up with her. Everything that had happened with Mike. She never really dealt with the pain, the torment, or any of it. She just pushed it aside and ignored it. Maybe at the time she thought that it would be the right thing, but now it has become a bigger problem. Now that Justin is gone she seems to have cracked.

"Hey," I said walking into Sam's room. She had been so distant from me, even Martin. I wanted to get through to her, and help her through this tough time. Although, I knew it wasn't going to be so simple because she didn't talk much anymore.

"Hey," she said sitting up.

"How are you?" I asked sitting on her bed.

"I'm okay." She smiled softly. "You?"

"Uh. I'm ok." I said looking down at my hands.

"I don't think he is coming back. I mean it has already been two weeks." She sighed.

"I know." I said as the silent filled the room.

"Hey ladies." Martin said walking into the bedroom.

Sam smiled up at him, and he kissed her on the cheek.

"I should go." I smiled and left the room.

I walked back into my room and sat on the bed. Sam and Martin had each other, and I had no one. I wasn't jealous I just didn't know what to do anymore. It seems that I am now all alone. I know that the guys care, but my place here has seemed to diminish over the past two weeks. I knew if anyone could help Sam through this tough time, it would be Martin. I was worried, but I knew that she would be fine without my help.

Picking up my cell phone off the desk I unlocked it.

From Justin:

I'm sorry I let you down. I want you to be happy, and I want you to have a good life. I honestly don't think that is possible if I am in the picture. I'll always watch over you from a distance.

Reading that message, I didn't know what to think. My stomach twisted too tightly and harshly inside of my body that it hurt to think and even move.

To Justin:

You didn't let me down.

I wished that he would respond, or maybe even call me. Oh, did I need to hear his voice right now. Things weren't simple anymore they had become complicated.

Grabbing a duffel bag from the closet I put the things I knew that I would need inside before zipping it up. I didn't want to leave, or run away. It wasn't like that. I just couldn't sit here, and pretend that I was happy. This wasn't where I was supposed to be. These guys were all I had left, and they treated me like family. They gave me a simple life, and anything that I wanted. I just have to get through my pain by myself. I needed to start fresh. I needed to prove to myself that I could survive on my own, and I could make a life for myself.

Dear Sam,

I wanted to tell you face-to-face, but that didn't seem to work out. I am sure you think that I am bailing on you, and leaving you, but I'm not. I love you dearly. I am just going to be a burden to you all from here on out, and I don't want that. I am grateful for your open arms and heart. Thank you for giving me a home. I am honored to have had you the past few months, and I am so blessed. Now I need to find myself in new places and people. I need to move on.

I know that the circumstance that we meet under weren't exactly fair. But, I am honored to now think of you as a close dear friend, and sister. I am not abandoning you either. The time has come where I need to let go of the past to move forward. Sometimes it seems that we meet people for a season and then we move on. I think our season is over. I also hope and believe that we cross paths again later in life.

Right now, I need to learn how to live life freely. I don't need to be protected anymore. I need to be able to breathe freely without feeling like the whole world is against me. I want to let go of the past and move forward. Call me crazy, but I am starting to think that I have a future in this world, and I want to see where my life will take me.

You gave me hope, you gave me a home, and people who could take care of me without hurting me. I want to thank you for everything that you have given me. I am so grateful for you and your family. You all have helped me so much, and I don't think I will ever be able to thank you enough.

Sam, I'm sorry that I am leaving. I believe that you have a bright future. The pain you are feeling right now will go away. You have such a strong and brave heart that has been through a lot. You have so much love and its a strong love that I was lucky enough to have come in contact with. Never give up.

Thank you

Love,

Miley

I put the letter in an envelope and placed it on top of the wrapped box on my bed. I didn't know what to say to their faces so I left quietly that night when everyone was asleep. I slipped a note under Zach's door apologizing for the fact that I was going to take his car and never return it.

These people were placed in my life for a reason, and a season. My life might lead me to a better place, or maybe an even worse place. I got into the car and drove off. I needed to get away. I needed to find myself.