Fleur-de-lis

Such are the cruel physics of love;

Those who crave it most will reject it and only the dang rich get richer.

Vanitas's p.o.v.

The past two weeks had been like something out a twisted dream...or maybe a wonderful nightmare. Every other day John would come up with some excuse to come by and see me. Our parents thought that we had rekindled our friendship and that we were slowly getting used to being around each other again but in actuality he was helping me indulge in my vice and I would help him indulge in his. John would think of new and creative ways to torture me with whatever rudimentary tools he could find and I would in turn relieve his stress. Sometimes I'd do it at home. Sometimes at school or after school in the woods. But we never engaged in our activities at John's house...I'm certain that he was too afraid to bring it that close to home.

Right now I sat at an outside lunch table far off to the end of the court yard, away from the pavilion that most people found as a comfortable place to sit. I had a T.o.R. statuette that I still hadn't opened yet and just finished eating so I was prepared to see what I got. It was an Angel like most of the ones I had but I was curious to see what kind of angel. I tear open the plastic wrapping around it to reveal Chamuel; Archangel of love.

"Isn't idolatry one of the things you and your church preach against?"

I jump slightly at the sound of a voice that managed to get so near unnoticed. I look behind me to see Roman. I almost didn't recognize him without his entourage.

"It's none of your business." I say, shoving the figurine into my pocket.

"Well if you're going to shove your religion down all our throats I'm going to expect you to drink from the same poison you pour." Roman comments.

"You went out of you way to find me just so you could spout your nihilistic bullshit?" I ask.

"No...actually." Roman responds. "I came here because I don't understand."

I blow a stray hair from my vision. "Understand what?"

"You and John suddenly being all buddy buddy."

I glare directly into his soul which causes him to grow a bit anxious. "What business is that of yours?" I ask rhetorically.

"It's not." He says. "But when the papists and the most hated church in world start to collaborate...I get a little worried for everyone's safety."

"If you must know...it's a ploy to keep our families from making us do bonding exercises." I say, attempting to throw him off the trail.

"See, that would be convincing if I didn't see you two going into the woods alone from time to time." Roman says.

"So?" I didn't plan on offering him anymore information.

Roman invites himself to take a seat which was obviously unwelcomed.
"So who did you kill?" He accuses. I'm unsure if it was satirical or serious.

"Have you heard of of any disappearances lately?" I retort, poking holes in his theory.

"Drugs?" He continues.

"Why would I even tell you if that were the case?"

"Well I plan to keep an eye on the two of you." Roman stands to leave. "I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you were mutilating babies in the woods or something."

"You realize that the Catholic church openly denounces and condemns religious circumcision and my family doesn't believe that it's inherently required to get into heaven." I defend.

"So you both have weird penises...got it." Roman mocks as he starts to walk away.

"What?" I say, baffled. "That contradicts the ideology of your earlier statement." "Besides, we're both circumcised."

Roman responds with an arrogant huff and continues on his way...until he stops. He turns around and comes to take a seat once more which I found ever so contemptible.

"You're both circumcised?" He questions.

"Weren't you leaving?" I dismiss.

"I was...but you just told me that both you and John are circumcised." He laughs slightly as if he were in on a joke I knew nothing about.

"Can you please stop taking interest in our junk." I demand.

"You both are?" He repeats.

"If saying it again will get you to leave, yes, we're both-" I stop mid sentence and realize where I'd screwed up. "I mean I would assume John is because-"

"No." Roman interrupts. "You just said it as if you knew. You've seen what John's dick looks like."

I start to get nervous and wipe the sweat from my palms on my pants. "No. I just...you're taking my words out of context."

"You're both gay." His face lights up at the realization. "You're apart of the most homophobic church in America and you're gay."

My heart is racing in my chest and I can't think of a good misdirecting explanation in time. "Fuck." I exhale.

"This is the most rewarding conversation I've ever had with any of you or your family."

I switch into self preservation mode. "If you fucking tell anyone-"

Roman grabs a fist full of my shirt. "Or you'll what?" He threatens.

I just stare at him, wide eyed. With that information he might try to out us to our families. A combination of fear and extreme rage wash over me and I grab Roman by the throat and pull him close.

"If you tell anyone..." I whisper. "I'll lose everything. Once I have nothing left to lose...you'll be the first person that I pay a visit to."

Roman had a surprised look on his face. He thought he had me cornered but didn't realize that I was perfectly capable of fighting back.

He sighs and smiles. "Alright, I won't tell anyone...under one condition."

We both loosen our grips on each other.

"What condition?" I ask.

"Tell me what your relationship with John is like." Roman demands.

"What?"

"I want to know for the satisfaction." "How does your compatibility work?" Roman asks.

"You're joking." I questionwith certainty.

"I'm completely serious." Roman assures.

I look down at the table. "I wouldn't really call it a relationship." I say. "I relieve his stress and he in turn...he makes me feel like who I am on the inside."

"Sounds romantic."

I couldn't tell if Roman was joking with that last statement or not.

"I assure you that it isn't that emotional."

"So you're not really his boyfriend?" Roman continues his interrogation.

"No." I feel a little disappointed at stating that fact out loud.

"Hmm. Must be hard for you, living in a family so opposed to what you are."

"What do you care?" I glare.

"Well..." Roman stands once more. "I always thought it a crying shame that you were such a homophobic ass... Because I think you're cute as hell." With that he walks away, leaving me a little taken aback. Was he just fucking with me?

The bell rings and I have to gather my things and get back to class.