Wings

Chapter Twenty-Eight

I haven't been sleeping. I gave up on trying to enjoy that luxury.

My nightmares are unbearable and they leave me screaming into the night, thrashing about which leads to cutting myself with my own dagger, or paranoid to the smallest movements or sounds.

So, I don't sleep anymore. It's been weeks of eyes wide open. I've stopped eating as well. I only throw it back up in the middle of the night.

The consequences of my doing this are horrible; I look horrible. There are bags under my eyes and my skeleton is beginning to peek through. Everyone in the Palace has been noticing, but pretends not to. All except my ladies. They try to help but I won't let them. I won't let them be drawn into my stupid problems.

Joy comes into my room to wish me goodnight even though she knows I'll be staying up all night, probably nodding off.

"Kat," she sighs. "I can't stand seeing you like this."

"Then don't look at me." I force a dry chuckle.

"Katheryn, this isn't healthy. You need-" Joy stops mid-sentence and gasps softly. Her eyes are glued straight ahead and her mouth hangs open.

She's having a vision.

I watch silently as to not to bother her while she's processing. At first, her expression is blank and difficult to read, but as the vision goes on, Joy's eyebrows crinkle into an unsightly frown.

"Joy," I whisper.

Instead of answering, Joy's eyes water and tears stream down her cheeks. She takes small steps backwards until her back hits the wall, I assume the impact startled her because she yelps.

"Joy," I call again more forcefully.Joy slowly slides down the wall and begins to sob; worry and fear painted across her face. She places her hands on the sides of her head and starts to scream horribly.

"Joy!" I know I shouldn't interrupt her while she's going through this, but she's scaring me. "Joy, snap out of it!"

I walk over to her and do the first action that comes to mind and slap her; I slap her right across the face.

Joy's screeching comes to an abrupt stop and she gasps for breath. After, she looks up at me and tries to smile. "I'm fine. I'm OK."

"No, you're not," I protest as I help her up. "What the hell was that?"

Joy shrugs her shoulders. "I just had a vision. And I felt that, you bitch."

"Well, what did you see," I ask worriedly. What she saw couldn't have been good if she was throwing a fit like that.

Joy sighs and sits on the edge of the bed; her hands shaking. She didn't answer for a moment and the pause scared the hell out of me. "I saw Lucifer."

"Again," I ask shockingly.

Joy continues, "He was watching the other Creatures torment, enslave, and kill us. You... you were nowhere to be found."

"Well. W- what, what does that mean?" I could sense the fear in me growing exponentially.

"It... it means I can't see your future anymore," Joy's voice shakes and she rests her hands on my shoulders. "You won't exist anymore, Katheryn."

I pull away from her. "What? No." I won't exist anymore. That can't be possible; I can never imagine myself dying before my time.

"Katheryn," Joy says quietly. She steps toward me and tries to comfort me but I push past her and leave her alone in the bedroom.

I just need some time to myself; some time to recollect my thoughts. Maybe I could go for a walk or stretch my wings a bit. I just can't imagine dying by the hand of Lucifer. I'm positive he'll make my death agonizingly slow and sweet for him to enjoy.