Headaches and Miracles

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I couldn’t open my eyes at first, the lids were far too heavy. My head thrummed harshly, and everything seemed just a bit clouded. Voices were echoing around the room, but they only seemed to go through one ear and out the next. It took me a long while of listening to begin making out words.

“How did… fall down? I…  remember anything! What happened? When… wake up?” I couldn’t make out any of the words, nor could I make out the voice that spoke them. It sounded like some monotone drawl. Like a voice one of my childhood tutors would speak in. I alway had such trouble paying attention to that voice, but something in this one seemed important and familiar.

“Relax… ‘s fine. Concussion. -head…. Sleeping.” That was Gaius. I could make his voice out now, either my ears or his words were getting stronger, “He’s been asleep for a while… waking him up soon,” Who was Gaius talking to? Probably…

“Alright. If you’re sure… Is there anything to eat here?” Oh, it was only Merlin, the world’s worst servant. I smiled slightly at his presence. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. Merlin was always a constant in my life. Sure, he sometimes disappeared to the tavern for a day or two, but other than that he was always close. Why did I feel as if I had forgotten something about Merlin? Something important...

“No, nothing filling enough for you, my boy. You go ahead down to the kitchens, I’ll wait to wake him until you come back,” Something about Merlin. I had to remember something about Merlin. But what? We were going to Morgana’s castle… Nothing important there. They went in… Merlin didn’t come back, so I went to rescue him… Then we pulled him out… and I talked to him… What then? For some reason I was drawing a blank… What happened between Merlin and I that was so important?

There was the sound of a door opening, maybe Merlin coming back from the kitchens with his snack?

“We can wake him up now?” Yes, that was Merlin’s voice. What was it? What had happened with Merlin? It was important, I had to remember now, not later. Now. What happened that was so important? Was it a fight? Did someone close to Merlin die? Was he sick? What?

A light tapping on my shoulder echoed through my body like a thunderstorm. It shouldn’t have felt so strong. Maybe I was more sensitive than usual…

Slowly, I cracked my eyelids open. The light shining through was abnormally bright, I could hardly make out the silhouette figures of my friends. That light split through my skull, but I swallowed it down, forced my eyes open completely, and took in my surroundings.

As my eyes adjusted, my head cleared. I didn’t spare a glance towards Gaius. There was something going on with Merlin and I had to figure out what it was. The first thing I observed was that Merlin was not dressed in his usual neckerchief, shirt, and brown jacket. No, he wore white clothing threaded with dark green. It looked nice, in a way, but also… Evil.

And suddenly I remembered where I had seen it before.

On Merlin’s unresponsive body as I carried him from the cold dungeons.

Had I… Succeeded? Merlin was awake. He was standing there frown-smiling at me, so I must have succeeded. My everything, my love, my life, my Merlin… I brought him back.

It felt more like a dream than reality.

I had to feel him. I had to know that he was here, that he was alive, that it wasn’t all just my imagination. I had to know. And I had to welcome Merlin back into the world of the conscious.

The last time I had run up to somebody with the sole intention of hugging them, I was seven. My father yelled at me for making him appear as a weak, emotional, fatherly man. Then he shut me in my room for the rest of the night.

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