Two Sides of The Same Coin (Merthur)(Discontinued)

Too Compassionate to Be Detached

Merlin’s POV

 

It would be impossible to even attempt starting on half of what it was like to be controlled. But, for your benefit, I can always try.

The problem was, it felt like any number of things happening at the same time. Like there was somebody else in front of me, I watched myself from a distance, walking back the way I had come with no regard to speeding carriages or busy people. Only a pinch away from being detached, peaceful, weightless . . .

But not quite. And perhaps that was what made the feeling so difficult to describe completely. I battled against the voice controlling my head with every step I took, screaming words that never made it into the known universe and banging against the invisible walls that had been constructed in my mind. And every forced step left me feeling mutilated and a little bit lost.

Today was not shaping up to be bright and amazing after all. At this point, I was way too worn out to be disappointed in a first date.

Already, the brisk pace I walked at had brought me to the front stairs of the castle. Arthur must have not passed on the word of my magic, or the guards would have stopped me before I had even placed a foot on the first step. They, instead, stood as stoic as ever, glaring into the courtyard below them.

I passed through the doors without a second glance, and I could not imagine that Eric was far behind.

I watched as we strode through the hallways, ignoring those who waved and said hello to me. I frowned, tracing the more quiet paths that we took, inwardly gasping as I realized where we were headed.

Of course it would be Arthur’s chambers. Why was it that the worst case scenario always seemed to turn into my life?

It made me feel like such a weakling that I had nearly slumped against that mental barrier when we had abandoned the quiet servant’s hallways for a more lively hall of knight’s quarters. Eric’s room seemed to be the new destination, maybe I was lucky after all.

We ducked into the carpeted bedroom and I watched myself close and lock the door, turning around a moment later to stand stiffly at attention for Eric to watch me.

“He took you long enough,” A voice- too high and light to belong to Eric- rung from a corner. The sound made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Of course. He had mentioned her himself only minutes ago, but something in my stomach fell as my childhood friend entered my line of sight.

Stupid. I was an idiot to think people could actually change. It almost seemed as if her betrayal was becoming a pattern . . .  And I was one to talk.

Tessrach seemed also to have lost all consideration of personal space. She leaned into my face with a raised eyebrow and a curious smirk playing from her lips to her bright eyes.

If I had any self control whatsoever, I probably would have spit at her right then.

“Is he in there at all?” Tessrach questioned, turning her head to blink at Eric, who just shrugged.

“Yeah, I think so,” He answered, “I’m pretty sure he’s been glaring the entire way here, and he’s been clawing at the magic since I installed it,” Eric smirked. “He is mine though, and he’ll know as much as soon as all of this is over.”

Tessrach raised an eyebrow, “You’re disgusting, you do know that, don’t you?” She jabbed at him with a grin. Eric just shrugged again. He lifted an arm and the magic I was under forced me to join the knight. The arm was soon wrapped around my shoulder,

“What can I say?” he smirked, squeezing that arm a little bit tighter as he licked his lips, “I’ve got a thing for skinny boys,” I really wanted to puke. Apparently, I was not completely alone,