Brick Girl [Completed]

How to say goodbye

Tara

I looked at my Aunt across the table as she poured her tea and added milk. Her dark hair was lined with grey and her hands shook slightly as she lifted the cup to her lips. Her face was,as always, a mix of tan and flushed red cheeks from bracing the cold winds up North. I closed my eyes and pictured her small farm tucked away in the hills.

Aunt Leah cleared her throat and I opened my eyes again.

"So how have you been since..."

I raised an eyebrow, "I've been ok, Aunt Leah but I'm fairly certain that you didn't travel all the way down here to ask me that. What's wrong?"

Aunt Leah coughed again and put her cup back onto the table.

"Well Tara, I debated whether or not to tell you. You are the only family that I have left and I love you dearly. You remind me so much of your Dad and I think you have grown into a wonderful woman."

I smiled at her and leaned back in the chair. A waiter walked past with a tray full of Christmas dinners. We were in the hotel where Aunt Leah was staying and were nestled in a quiet corner of the bar. In the adjoining room I could hear families celebrating.

"Aunt Leah, what is it?"

"I'm not well Tara."

I watched her lace her fingers together then pull apart quickly as she covered her mouth to cough hoarsely.

"I'm dying."

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Zeke

Tar still hadn't returned when Mum and I got back from seeing Dad. Mum was emptying the bags when her mobile rang and she answered it quickly.

"Yes? How long? How much?" Mum slipped into surgeon mode and I grinned. It was hard to believe that an hour ago, she had managed to pour a jug of gravy down herself whilst telling my Dad a story.

"Ok, take him to theatre. Place a central line, run a bag of saline and I'll be there immediately." She ended the call quickly and looked at me apologetically.

"Go,go," I waved my hand at her and she smiled. She kissed me on the forehead then she was gone.

I opened a beer and switched on the tv, I flicked through until I settled on an old Christmas film and I waited on Tar. She hadn't called me so I wasn't sure if she was coming back tonight.

I had just dozed off when I heard the front door open and close quietly. I opened one eye and saw Tar peep around the door and then pull it closed. She crept up the stairs. I frowned. What was she doing?

I slid off the couch and headed to my room. The door was closed over and I heard Tar rummaging about.

"Hey. What's.." I let the sentence trail off.

Tar was shoving her clothes into her rucksack and blushed when she saw me.

"Oh hi, I thought you were asleep." She shifted awkwardly under my gaze.

I walked over and prodded the bag, "What's going on?"

Tar exhaled and ran her fingers up through her hair.

"Zeke, it's my Aunt. She's not well. She's.. well she's dying."

I sat on the edge of my bed, "Shit. What's wrong?"

Tar zipped up the bag then sat next to me, "It's lung cancer. She's been having treatments which is why she wasn't at the funeral. She needs someone to look after her."

I paused and whipped my head around, "Look after her up in the Highlands?"

Tar met my gaze, "She's my family,Zeke. She's all I have."

The words stung.

"That's not what I meant Zeke. She's my Aunt, she is my Dad's sister and she needs someone to help her. It's me."

I swallowed. The gnawing feeling had returned to my stomach.

"You have to go back up there?"

Tar nodded.

"When?"

"Tomorrow. She can't be away from her doctors for too long. As it is she shouldn't even have come all this way and she's suffering for it."

I stared at Tar slack jawed, "When were you going to tell me? As you were leaving?"

She shook her head, "No. I just wanted to pack before you changed my mind."

I bristled, "Of course I am! Your life is here! Your art, your flat, me, Poppy. What about all of that?"

She shrugged helplessly,"I can paint anywhere. I hoped you and Poppy would understand."

"Tar. I..."

No. Not now. Not like this. Not when I just got you back.

"Zeke, you are leaving soon for America anyway. We can still talk. I'll come back down before you leave."

I scoffed, " I don't want to see you once before I go ,Tar. I don't want to leave you."

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Tara

I watched Zeke run his hands through his rumpled hair and I felt a huge sadness rest on my shoulders. His dark eyes watched me and I reached out and held his hand.

Maybe this was the way it had to be.

As much as I loved him, maybe it was just the wrong time to love him. He was going to leave. I needed to leave. Our separate ties were pulling hard in opposite directions. I couldn't ask him to give up his career for me.

I opened my mouth and I saw him mouth "don't".

"Zeke, I think we should let this go. I love you but I can't expect you to wait here whilst I'm up in the Highlands and I don't want you to go to America and not enjoy everything it has to offer."

He shook his head fiercely and I felt my heart shatter. I swallowed hard and felt the bricks he had pulled down inside me slowly pile up again.

"I'm sorry but I think it's over."

Zeke stood up and looked at me. He paced back and forth whilst I sat there staring at my bag. He knelt in front of me and held my head in his hands.

"I know what you're doing Tar," he said hoarsely. " I know you. Don't do it. Don't shut me out."

I felt tears prick my eyes and I blinked them back furiously.

"Tar.Tar.Tar.Tar." He murmured repeatedly then he brought his lips to mine and kissed me hard. I kissed him back and I felt tears dampen my cheeks.

I didn't know if they were his or mine.

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Zeke

I woke up and she was gone.