One Step Closer

CHAPTER 19. A trip down memory lane

~James POV~

"I will give you my consent." - I said confidently while I was leaning against the door frame.

Marian' s eyes grew in size as my words sunk in, and her face paled a little.

"I know you like me." - I continued, not giving her a chance for to come up with another reason to reject me again. I really wanted to get to know her, especially after that very personal moment we had on the couch earlier.

"I like you too, and you know what, I might be only seventeen, but I'm making my own decisions since I was twelve, so please don't try to make up some ridiculous reason why we cannot get to know each other better at least." - I continued, and my braveness started to fade away in me. She sat on the couch, and she stared at me, motionless.

"You .... you..., don't know anything about me!" - she said and I cut her off.

"Of course, that's true, so why don't you let me know you a bit?" - I asked back. I stepped into the sitting from, and proceeded to sit down beside her. She jumped up quickly, nearly knocking over the small coffee table. She was clearly in distress and I had a strong feeling I caused her agitation. I was struggling to come up with anything to make her calm down. I felt nearly defeated.

"I'm going to make hot chocolate." - she announced and left to the kitchen in a rush. She escaped from me. She escaped from the impending conversation that we must have before we decided what will happen next to us. I sat on the couch and tried to come up with some solution, how to convince Marian that I am a good guy and I know there was room to improve in my case, but I will always do my best.

It started to get cold nowadays, and obviously the shed I lived in, wasn't insulated at all, so I usually went there as late as I could and stayed in heated public places. So today I wanted stay with Marian for not only this reason, but I needed to see if she is really into me. No matter how selfish I looked, my priority was food and warmth.

On the other hand, I wanted her to see the real me, but I didn't want her pity. I didn't want her to see the homeless teenager, I'm going to be eighteen in a couple of month, I want to go forward with my life. I'm not going to be homeless forever, as soon as I finish my leaving certificate I'll get a job and will do some evening college course. That's the plan so far. I wanted to show Marian that I'm capable of looking after myself... and eventually her.

"Yes, that's what I'm going to tell her."- I murmured under my nose.

"What do you want to tell to whom? Here are the hot chocolates, by the way." - she raised her eyebrows as she inquired about my muttering.

I decided to be brave and tell her what's on my mind, and eventually we can move forward somehow from this standstill.

"Marian, I meant, what I said to you earlier. I'm giving you consent to get to know me, if you wish. Also, I wanted to say, I paid for my last semester in school, I will graduate with straight A's next May. Then I'll sort out my life.... and I kind of want to date you." - I blurted out at once. Uttering these last bits of my short speech made me go so red that I physically felt my cheeks burning. "What an embarrassing moment of my life!"- I thought as I waited for her reaction this time.

The shock on her pretty face was clearly visible. She held the tray close to her body, then slowly lowered it to the coffee table and once again, sat down onto the ottoman.

"But....but..., we don't really know each other!" - she retorted.

"Well, is it an excuse? Because last time I've heard you wanted me to sleep here..." - I trailed off slowly.

She went silent on me, and looked at me with eyes that I couldn't read. I could nearly see the myriad of questions swimming in his head though.

"That's right. So what are you saying is..... We should get to know each other better, right?" - she said after a long minute of silence.