Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 15

My drowsy eyes peered open as the sun was just beginning to rise; the oddly sleepless night not adding anything great to how I was feeling.

I pulled my hand away from Daryl's, our fingers having intertwined throughout the night, before his head slowly picked up, tightly grabbing me again, "What's wrong?" His raspy voice questioned as he glanced around the trailer before back at me.

I shook my head lightly, "I'm just getting up."

His grip immediately softened, soon releasing as I crawled over him, pushing myself out of the small bed.

I didn't know where to go from here-- with anything really. The whole time Daryl and I were together, before everything happened, I didn't even know what we really were, and now.. I don't know if I want us to be anything.
It's obvious that I'm attached to Daryl, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say the same for him. But no matter how this war goes, there's going to be nothing left for us, and it would be easier if we both understood that.
I wanted nothing more than to grow old with Daryl and the rest of the family I've made, but as the days pass, it's only sinking in more and more that that dream is just that.. a dream.

I sat down at the small table after grabbing a half empty bottle of water off the counter, quickly quenching my dehydrated body after a night that seemed to get less blurry the longer I was awake.

"Why were you here last night?" I asked lowly, seeing Daryl push himself up in bed, the plastic bottle crinkling in my hands as I screwed back on the top.

"I's havin' a smoke." He murmured, my eyes immediately glancing down to the ashed cigarette on the floor.

"But.. here-- why here?"

He shrugged lightly, standing up, "Just needed to make sure ya were safe."

I pushed my hair behind my ear, my eyes focusing on the water bottle in front of me as I fidgeted with it, "Well.. thank you."

He nodded slightly, heading to the door that's frame was split end to end from being busted through, "Ya need anythin'?"

"I'm fine," I shook my head, stopping him as he reached for the handle, "I do love you, Daryl."

"I know ya do." He breathed, nodding again before heading out the door.

***

As if the relationship Daryl and I had before wasn't confusing enough, last nights fiasco only made things more difficult to navigate. The air between us was thick, like we both knew there was more that needed to be said, but right now just wasn't the time.

"So we'll have Jadis and her group as long as we can fulfill our side of the deal." Rick began to explain, catching Jesus, Enid, Daryl and I up on what we missed as we walked towards the Hilltops gate.

"And how are we supposed to do that when the Saviors have control of pretty much every gun within a 50 mile radius?" I asked, concerned with how far we were getting in to all of this.

"Michonne and I picked up around a dozen from an overrun military camp the other day, and it turns out Tara ran into a group called Ocean Side when she was on her run with Heath-" Rick continued before Daryl cut him off.

"Why the hells she just tellin' ya this now?"

"The reason doesn't matter-- whatever it is," Rick shook his head, "This group has guns, and a lot of them, so either they agree to join us and fight the Saviors or they hand over their guns."

"And if they don't?" Jesus questioned.

"Then we take them by force," he shrugged, stopping as we reach the gate where the vehicles were parked, "We scavenged some dynamite from a block the Saviors set up, all we have to do is run it around their camp-- scare them, let them know we mean business."

Daryl nodded slowly, "Ok, let's do it."

"Are you in?" Rick asked, looking over to me, "You can stay back here if you-"

"I'm in." I cut him off, swallowing harshly, knowing that if this was the beginning of the end, I needed to be apart of it.

***

"What's going on between you and Daryl?" Rick asked, glancing over to me from the drivers seat as Daryl's motorcycle roars behind us, followed by another car with Jesus and Enid, "I know it's not my place, but I just figured you'd be riding with him."

"I, uh-" I paused, not sure where to start but feeling like Rick had every right to know what's clouding my mind, "If something goes wrong during this war with the Saviors, I'm gonna go back to the Sanctuary with Negan." I explained lowly, almost feeling ashamed of my decision as each word left my lips.

Rick looked over to me before back to the road, running his hand over his face as he held a near speechless expression, "Where is this coming from, Liz?" He finally asked, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

"I'm tired of seeing people die, Rick-"

"That's why we're doing this-- that's why we have to get as many people as we can to fight against the Saviors." He cut me off, his intensions to get me to change my mind very clear.

"I'm not saying I'm not going to fight," I corrected, "But if by the end of this I'm still alive and so is Negan, I'm going back with him to the Sanctuary like last time.. but this time is going to be different."

He rested his arm against the window ledge of the door, letting out sigh as he shook his head, "And Daryl's fine with this?"

"No," I admitted quietly, pushing my hair back behind my ear, "But at that point, it's not going to matter anymore, whatever happens.. I'm not coming back to Alexandria."

_____
Fair warning, we're going to be seeing a very new side of Liz-- a much darker, fearless Liz. BUT that doesn't mean that we will completely lose the old Liz..

I hope you guys enjoy where this book is going because I'm having such a good time writing it, and trust me.. you're not going to see ANY of this stuff coming🌚