"You'll always love her."
"But she'll end up forgetting you."
Maybe she's bored with me now. Maybe I just couldn't keep up with her interests.
"Why do you expect me to say hi all the time?"
"I don't need the distractions."
Because you were one of my best friends?
Or maybe,
I just liked you more than I should have. I loved the little things more than I should have. I just loved you, more than I should have.
I feel like I tried to buy a rental house. I tried to make myself at home in a house I didn't own. And I'm sorry.
Even though the walls were already painted my favorite color, and the backyard was the perfect size. The radio always played my favorite stations and the car fit perfectly in the garage.
It was the perfect house.
But it wasn't mine.
She isn't mine.
And now I can hear her laugh across the room.
I sit next to different people.
I can laugh along with them & their jokes, but I wish I was watching you laugh next to me instead.
I can feel when you steal a quick glance at me from across the room. I'm smiling at the pretty girl sitting next to me as she throws her head back forcing a laugh at something stupid I said.
Something stupid I said to you once, and you laughed at it for two minutes straight.
And now sometimes when my favorite song comes on, I change it.
Because all I can think of is sharing my headphones with you, forcing you to listen to it on the bus,
Smiling as you curiously asked me,
"Is he British?"
I never answered you.
His names Eddy. And yeah, he is.
___
She thinks I moved on.
I didn't.
