Tear In My Heart ✔️

V. Internal Conflicts (edited)

But it would all be worth it to see the proud look in her eyes and the giant smile on her face.

"I see," he relented as I opened my document and waited for all of the pages to load. "Just make sure you have one picked soon, alright? We still need plenty of time to proofread, edit, and edit some more."

"Okay," I nodded just as my fellow classmates started pouring in, pulling in the buzz of chatter with them. I ignored them, periodically throwing out a hi to whoever greeted me as my fingers manically typed on the keyboard, bringing my ideas into existence.

After the bell rang, Mr. Hill greeted everyone before he told us to resume working on our story which I gladly did as I popped in my earbuds and shuffled my playlist entitled "Writing Vibes" which consisted of chill alternative and indie music that put my mind at ease and helped me focus on writing along with a few mellow pop tracks.

My fingers raced across the keyboard, a new idea popping into my head with every keystroke, but all too soon the bell rang indicating the end of class and the beginning of our short passing period. As I logged out, I quickly jotted down the remaining ideas I'd failed to complete in my writer's notebook before I shoved it in my bag and put my computer back where I got it from. "Bye, Mr. Hill," I called over my shoulder before I was swallowed in the throng of students to continue on with my day. Classes flew by and before I knew it, it was lunchtime. I hurried through the line and bought an apple, walking past my usual table with the boys and opted for the vacant stairwell. I needed to relax my mind and hearing the same conversations about horniness and sports wasn't going to do that for me. I pulled out my phone and inspected the time. 12:24, it read. Five more hours until I start my job from hell.

I sighed as I took a bite of the apple, slowly chewing it as thoughts fought for dominance in my mind, but most of my thoughts consisted of none other than Madison himself. I just couldn't get his smirk out of my head or the longing look in his eyes when we'd been so close to kissing. And despite how much I tried to convince myself that I hadn't wanted it, I'd craved it with an intensity I'd never felt before. I just prayed that he and I won't be alone together or else I'd be in trouble.

"Why do you look constipated?" A voice suddenly said as a figure suddenly landed beside me, causing me to jump as I turned toward them, semi-relieved to see that it was only Connor.

"Dang, Con. Don't scare me like that," I chastised as I placed a hand on my heart and urged it to calm down. "I could've killed you or something."

"Oh yeah, because you totally didn't look like you were about to piss your pants or anything," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he rolled his eyes.

"What do you want?" I asked, taking a bite of my apple.

"To check up on you," he shrugged as he shifted his body so he could find a comfortable position on the hard concrete stairs. "You've seemed...distracted lately," he said, choosing his words carefully as he looked me in the eyes. "You know you can always talk to me right? I mean, about anything no matter how bad or troubling you think it might be, I'm always here for you, okay Noah?" Sincerity swam laps in his eyes and I could tell he was truly concerned. That was the good and bad thing with being best friends with someone for so long: they could read you like a book. Every small change in emotion was like rewriting a chapter, every fake smile was a missing word, and every "I'm okay" when you really weren't was like adding a blank page. I was a book he'd read too many times to be fooled. But, I was grateful nonetheless.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Just don't mention it to any of the boys, alright? I don't want them on my case."

Connor nodded in response before he got up and clapped me on the shoulder. "I know when I'm not wanted, but just remember that I'm always here."