Surviving Negan (BOOK FOUR IN THE SURVIVING THE WALKING DEAD SERIES)

Game Over

     "Bullshit!" Negan laughed.

     "It's not bullshit, it's fact!" I argued.

     "Robert Trujillo is way better than Cliff Burton."

     "Look, Trujillo is great, but Cliff is the bass behind Master of Puppets, Welcome Home, Ride The Lightning-"

     "Yeah, and Trujillo was behind St. Anger, The Unforgiven III-"

     "Like I said, he's great, but no one beats Cliff."

     "Alright, alright. How about this: Slash or Angus Young?"

     "You serious right now?" I laughed. "Ya can't choose between Slash or Angus, they're in two different bands!"

     "I know that, but who do you think is better?"

     "You can't just make a decision like that, it's like askin' if you prefer Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb. They're two different brands-"

     "But naturally the same thing."

     "They're not the same thing!"

     "Just pick one!"

     "Fine!" I grumbled. "Angus."

     "THANK GOD!"

     "What?"

     "Someone with fuckin' brains."

     "Well, you're askin' me to compare GNR to AC/DC. They're both fantastic, but it comes down to how many hits they have. GNR obviously have Sweet Child O' Mine, and then there's November Rain, Welcome to the Jungle, and Paradise City. While AC/DC has Thunderstruck, Highway to Hell, Back in Black, Hells Bells, T.N.T., You Shook Me All Night Long, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, Shoot To Thrill, and It's a Long Way to the Top."

     "And you were actin' as if it was a big fuckin' deal."

     "It was a big deal!"

     "You're just pissed because I'm fuckin' right. Statistically, AC/DC is way better and you're just tryin' to give GNR a ribbon of participation." I was completely speechless, Negan was right. I let out a frustrated growl and crossed my arms across my chest. "Ha! I win!"

     "Fine, ask your damn question."

     "Oh, I certainly fuckin' will. I've been stewin' over these questions for a while, and I think I got the perfect one." Negan chuckled. "Alright, what are all of your fetishes."

     "Oh, c'mon! That ain't fair!"

     "You said one question, now, isn't that a question?"

     "You're a pain in my fuckin' ass, ya know that?"

     "Yeah, but you got a great ass. So spill it."

     "Fine." I sighed. "Well, there's chokin', but ya already knew about that. Ya also know about my knife fetish-"

     "Which I still think is amusin' as hell-"

     "Can I finish?" Negan fell silent. "Hair pullin', BDSM, sub and dom-"

     "Which do you prefer?"

     "Whichever I'm in the mood for, but it's mostly me bein' the sub." Negan eagerly smiled. "Spankin', masochism, bitin', and... uh-"

     "And?"

     "It's really really fuckin' weird."

     "You get off when someone cuts you, how much weirder can it get?"