Surviving Negan (BOOK FOUR IN THE SURVIVING THE WALKING DEAD SERIES)

Heart's Still Beating

     "What do you mean 'I'm sorry'?" I asked, but Rick wouldn't look at me. "What in the fuck happened to Daryl?" I snapped.

     "It was after ya left Alexandria." Rick explained. "He didn't talk to anyone, he just... shut down. I tried to get 'em to talk, tried to get 'em involved in a plan to get ya back, but he wasn't havin' any part of it. I went to go check on Carl and Judith and when I came back, he was in the bathroom." Rick sniffled.

     "Rick, you're scarin' me."

     "I heard what sounded like glass breakin' and I went to check on 'em, that's when I discovered he locked himself in the bathroom. I banged on the door nonstop, but he didn't answer... so I broke the door in and that's when I found 'em."

     "Found 'em?"

     "He was sittin' in the shower... he'd slit his wrists... there was so much blood."

     "Oh, my God." I whimpered as I failed to fight back tears.

     "W-We barely made it to the Hilltop. He lost so much blood, Dr. Carson feared that he wouldn't make it, but he tried anyways."

     "Is he alive or not?"

     "Yes." Rick nodded. "Dr. Carson was able to sew 'em up, but he needed a lot of blood transfusions. He was still unconscious when we left. I wanted to stay, but we couldn't risk the Saviors findin' out about our ties with the Hilltop." Rick's bottom lip began to quiver. "I'm sorry, Michaela. I promised that I'd take care of 'em... I failed ya. I'm sorry." I walked over to Rick and embraced him in a tight hug as we cried into each other's shoulders. "I'm so sorry."

     "It's okay, Rick." I sniffled. "It's okay. He's alive, thanks to you."

     "Martinez... Martinez helped." I let out a sigh and pulled away from Rick.

     "We need to bury 'em. We need to bury Martinez, Olivia, and Spencer. I'll take a look at Aaron and Rosita real quick and I'll start diggin'."

     "Ya don't gotta do it alone, Michaela."

     "Spencer's death, that's on him. Olivia's, that's on Negan, but Martinez? That shit's on me. Hell, if ya think about it, Olivia's is on me too."

     "No, it ain't."

     "In a way, it is. After Negan killed Spencer, I could've done somethin'. I dunno, maybe if I walked out there earlier than I did, maybe she'd still be alive."

     "Michaela, look at me." Rick grabbed me by my chin. "Ya did nothin' wrong. Negan killed them, not you." I gently nodded and walked inside my house to see Eric and Rosita tending to Aaron.

     "You alright?" I asked Aaron.

     "My heart's still beating isn't it?" Aaron smiled. I slightly chuckled as I walked over to him, taking over for Rosita and Eric. "You came back."

     "I came home." I smiled. "I'm sorry I ever left."

     "We understand why you did." Eric added. "You were brave for doing what you did for Daryl. You saved his life."

     "Yeah, then I nearly killed 'em." I sighed.

     "Rick told you, I take it?" Aaron frowned.

     "Yeah."

     "The Saviors came back sometime after you left, they came for your things. I had to show Rick and Martinez the secret passage. To be honest, I didn't even think he was gonna make it, but I'm glad he did."