Surviving Negan (BOOK FOUR IN THE SURVIVING THE WALKING DEAD SERIES)

Getting To Know Me

My eyes fluttered open as the sun began to bleed through the blinds. The fire had died what seemed like hours ago, all that remained were charred remains of smoldering, burnt logs and ashes. I felt great, like I had slept for years. It was the best sleep I've had since before I left Alexandria. Negan grunted from behind me, causing me to slightly jump. I had almost forgot that Negan made me climb into bed with him last night. I began to climb out of bed when something around my stomach tightened. I lifted my blanket and my eyes instantly widened. It was Negan's arm. My dream, was that really Daryl? Or was I hearing Negan talking to me?

"Mornin'." Negan groggily spoke. "Sleep alright?"

"Yeah." I mumbled. "Yeah, I slept okay."

"Good. You started to freak out again, started talkin', too."

"What did I say?"

"You were cryin', so I could barely understand you, but I did hear you say David." When I didn't respond, Negan let out a sigh. "He really fucked your head up, didn't he?"

"I was raped, Negan. I don't know anyone who can just bounce back from that. I didn't even bounce back from what happened with me and the Claimers for a little while."

"I'm sorry it happened to you. I'm sorry that the Claimers did that to you."

"They weren't the first. After what happened between me and the Governor, I had panic attacks, nightmares... Daryl was there for me through it all. I finally accepted what happened to me, but it took him longer to accept it. When I was attacked by the Claimers, yeah, it messed me up, but I turned it into anger and used it as a strength. For the longest time I was angry at anythin' that moved, took it out on Abraham a few times, but then again, he'd start it. We'd get into constant fist fights, but in the end, we'd laugh it off. What I'm tryin' to say is that with what happened to me in the past, I had people there to help me get through the emotional shit."

"What about with David?"

"You helped me that first night, but then I wanted to just be alone. I was already messed up from the cell, and then that happened to me. I felt like bein' alone was the best thing for me... it wasn't. I never thanked ya for that night, for refusin' to leave me alone right after it happened. I didn't want it... but I needed it."

"You're welcome." Negan gently kissed the back of my shoulder. "We need to get ready."

"I'll boil ya some water. Don't think ya want to experience the torture of a cold shower." Negan instantly laughed as I climbed out of bed and made my way into the kitchen, mentally slapping myself for the way I've been treating him, with kindness. This bastard killed my friends and tried to kill Daryl? Why was I even being nice to that fuckhead? Still, I guess it wouldn't hurt to be fucking courteous to someone when they treat you with respect.

After I put a few pots of water on the stove to boil, I headed for the basement. One thing I remembered about the Andersons is that they were definitely penny pinchers. It embarrassed Mariah when her parents talked about it in public, but it worked out for her in the end, because the Andersons were known throughout the community for being what people called Couponers. The basement was stacked to the ceiling with food and other things they bought for just pennies out of pocket. They always said they never spend more than forty bucks on their shopping trips.

I dug around through the boxes, trying to figure out what to make for breakfast. They had a little of everything. From canned fruits and vegetables and even things they have canned themselves. Whatever I was cooking, it had to be fast, we had a big day ahead of us. I decided to grab a jar of canned instant pancake mix and a can of blueberry pie filling along with some canned potatoes, onions, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and cooking oil and headed upstairs I placed the supplies on the counter and checked on the pots, which were now at a rolling boil. "Negan?" I called out.