Mission Impossible ➳ HS. AG. AU

File 24: The One with the Sleep Deprived

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- Grande -

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To this day, I've realized that the hospital's cafeteria food is shit and that I'd rather starve than take another bite out of it. The person who runs this place should really consider a change in the menu, it's a disgrace to be serving this to us when they can be giving out pizza, I like pizza. I sighed, my mouth watering just at the thought of a slice and sadly picked at the food on my plate once I was reminded that it was just a fantasy. Huffing, I stubbornly toss the fork onto my tray and rest my chin into the palm of my hands, my head supported by my elbows that were placed onto the table.

In my head, I knew that I should force myself to eat whatever they have that they have labeled as "food" because I haven't eat properly. It's been weeks, originally I wasn't eating due to paranoia from being held captive by Rick and those assholes that take idiotic orders from him, but being here and constantly worrying and being reminded about the true reason that I've been sitting in this building for so long is nothing but worse. Now that I think of if, I'm not even in the mood for a slice of pizza, how is that even possible? Lately, whenever I think about food I just feel sick.

I grimaced one more time and slid my tray to the right, my hand returning beneath my chin with another sigh being released. My mind was all over the place, if you couldn't tell, whenever I'm alone, my mind is running marathons and it's refusing to stop. I even started to day dream more often, and now the nightmares take place during the day as well and the hospital really isn't working at all. The other night Harry was stabbed and left to suffer in the middle of the hallway, then choked to death, even when I stood outside to take a breather, he was ran over by an ambulance. My hands move from my chin and into my hair as I bowed my head forward; I really thought I was over these nightmares and I had gotten so used to being without them but now they're back and I want to cry. But I can't, I won't.

The cafeteria doors are pulled open and the sound of footsteps are heard moments after, I slowly look up to find Harry's tall figure passing by my table and making his way towards the counters to get a plate of food, I should warn him about it, but I really don't want to talk to him right now. How do I even know if he's real? If anything, this could be a nightmare and the lunch lady can just beat him to death with a tray, or, they have knives back there; That is another option.

I merely laugh at the thought of Harry begging the woman to put the tray down and I instantly label myself as mad, insane and unstable. What the hell is going on in my mind? Where are these thoughts coming from? I shake myself out of this trance when Harry swiftly slides onto the seat in front of my and my eyes quickly roam elsewhere, avoiding his gaze and I could tell that he sensed something due to the shifting in his seat but he doesn't mention anything, he just picks up his utensils and begins to eat. The smell of his food engulfs me and I quickly cover my nose by pulling my shirt over my nose and mouth, wouldn't want to taste the smell either, it's possible, "What?"

I take in a breath and it was rather difficult to avoid the smell, letting all my work go once I let out another laugh, "Nothing." I shake my head from side to side and let my shoulders fall into a shrug. Our eyes finally meet and I wrinkle my nose in disgust and he finally realizes and looks down to his tray and nudges it to the side, "You don't have to, I just, the smell..."

"It isn't that good anyway," He shrugs and turns his full attention toward me, "plus, this is the first time you've talked to me in weeks, I'll put food aside for that any day." He flashes me a wide, sheepish grin and I roll my eyes in pure amusement. It's true, I hadn't talk to anyone in weeks, I refused to. I was enjoying the darkness, and the lonely feeling too much and wanted to keep it that way. This is how they started getting very vivid, cruel, the nightmares. I've surrounded myself by nothing and gave them the perfect opportunity to sneak in and invade my entire brain, and time. And now, I can't look at him without imagining a million ways he could die. I'm insane.