i have a misery inside of me
in my brain and heart
a sense of failure and waste dripping
dripping into other people's responsibility
a wasted education
getting in trouble for drugs, drugs, drugs
realising you aren't as intelligent and you were told as a child
you aren't as special or wanted
a waste of day after day spent asleep
while all night you drink, drink, drink
until you can't feel being shaken awake
or dragged home by the headache
i have a misery. a miss you. a want to see you.
i have a want to kill myself but a cowardice to keep struggling.
i have a realisation. a sharp sting of raw reality.
i have no one.
