What's eating you?

Chapter 6

*Jacky's POV*

I sat awkwardly next to my dad in the car on the way to school. He was wearing his glasses, which meant he had a awful headache, which was probably caused by me. Last night I had spent three full hours trying to convince them, I didn't have a eating disorder, and everything was alright. I hated that I had to lie to my parents. I wanted to tell them everything was not all right, and I was ashamed of how I looked.

 I couldn't help but think of the first time I had heard someone point out my eating issue. It was a few days after my brother died and I was sitting in the lunch room. I picked lazily at my food as Tate and my best friend Jaz where in a heated mindless conversation. I stabbed a piece of a meatball on my tray and brought it up to my lips when I heard Jaz yell " Dam Jacky? You've eaten all that already? Such a fat ass." My cheek heated instantly as her and Tate broke out laughing.

 "Ya. Ha." I gave a nerves laugh. I looked down at my half empty tray, we had only been in lunch for fifteen minutes and I had already wolfed down half of my food, when some kids where still getting theirs.

 "I'm just kidding." Jaz playfully pushed on my arm. I dropped the fork on to my plate and quickly got to my feet. 

"Ya." I mumbled as I threw the tray in the trash can and ran to the bathroom. I spent almost two periods sobbing my eyes out.

 Now I watch in horror as my dad pulled into the school parking lot. Student filled into the building like mindless creatures. I clutched my bag tighter, I was not looking forward to going back to school. After my brother died, everyone stared at me like I wasn't human,like I was a wild creature. I could only image how they where going to look at me now.

 "Dad do I have to go?" I whined. I watched as my father slipped his finger under his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

 "Yes Jacky you have to go." There was a edge to his tone. I clutched the handles of my book bag, it felt like I was grasping at straws.

 "But-" He held up his hand.

 "Jacky you are going. That final, now come on sweet heart don't give me a hard time. I barely got any sleep last night." I took a hard gulp. Please god no,just give me one more day to stay home. I can't do this right now.

 "Okay." I muttered. He gave my a half hearted smile and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me closer.

 "I love you Jacky." He softly cried. I had never heard my dad cry before. Even when my brother died, my dad had been strong. A deep aching formed in the pit of my chest. This was my fault.

 "I gotta to go. Don't forget I have track today." I pushed away from him, and brushed a stray tear from my eye. If I was going to make it through the day, I had to stay strong.

 A slight chill came over my body. I hugged my sweat shirt closer to my body. Lately I've been feeling as lot colder than normal. I saw girl walking into the building with short cut shirts and shorts, and then there was me in sweat pants and a sweatshirt. I pull the hood  over my head and kept my eyes casted down when I felt some one's hand on my shoulder.

 "You're gonna be hot as hell in that!" It seemed my heart had skipped a beat. It was Jaz. I hadn't talked or seen her since before school let out in early May.

 "Nah, I'll be fine." I spoke softly. I turned to face her and was in shock. She was no longer the creamy pale skinned girl that was my best friend. Her skin was olive colored and her hair was a light golden brown with flakes of red streaked throughout.  Her eyes where a beautiful color green and the biggest feature was her smile. Over the summer she had gotten her braces removed. My best friend was beautiful, something I would die to be. 

She was wearing a deep scoop black shirt with a gold logo on it, and white shorts. Her hair was pinned into a tight pony tail and sun glasses sat perfect on her head.

 "Wow, you look good." I smiled as she grabbed my hand and lead me into the building.

 "Why thank you!" She laughed. 

 "Seems this school has finally gotten something right and put us in the same homeroom!" She lead me into a science room. A few other kids sat scattered out in random desk. I pulled back my hood and it felt as if every one's eyes had rested on me.

 "That's her. Ya, she the girl who's brother killed him self last year. I don't know, I think he blew his brains out." I narrowed my eyes at the girl on the desk closet to the door. She had awful dyed purple hair and her face was caked in makeup.

 "No, he didn't blow his brains out. He hung himself, get it right before you go running your dam mouth." I snapped. The girl focused her eyes on me and a evil grin twitched across her lip.

 "Alright Jacky come on let's take a seat in the back of the room." Jaz grabbed ah-old of my hand and dragged me to the back of the room. I rolled my eyes and slid into the desk next to Jaz.

 I tapped my finger on the desk as Jaz pulled out a small thing of eyeliner. My fingers seemed abnormally big. A pang of terror flicked through out my chest. I quickly averted my eyes away from my hands. But I couldn't escape it, my whole body was huge. My thighs, my feet, my waist, my face, everything was huge.  My heart rate quicken inside my chest. Calm down Jacky, everything going to be alright.

 "Look at her. She looks scary." It was the girl with purple hair again. Ignore them, they want a reaction out of you. I picked angrily at the bandage on my hand. I hated that they where talking about me. What I hate even more, that it was all true. A heavy sense of dread filled my chest, today was going to be a long day.

 Jacky, Jacky, she so fat and ugly!

 I flinched at the voice. My chest was becoming tight and my heart rate was quickening when suddenly someone whispered something into my ear. 

 "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I love you so much it hurts."  I closed my eyes and let out a  long sigh of relief. It was Tate, the one voice I needed to hear right now.

 "Ya sure." I plastered a fake smile on my face and slowly turned around to face him.  I couldn't help but feel warm and fuzzy inside every time I looked at Tate. His clear emerald eyes  where always hidden by his curly main of hair that always seemed to fall lazily into his face.

 I open my mouth to say something when Jaz cut me off " What in the hell are you looking at Lee?" Jaz had stuffed her makeup back into her bag, and was now yelling at the girl with purple hair.

 Lee was her name. She had purple hair and pale skin only makeup could give. Where have I heard that from before?

 "I'm looking at you slut, and your freak friend."  A intense heat crept into my cheek. Jaz clenched her hands into a tight ball.

 "Who you calling a freak? I see three normal people and then there you."  She snapped back. A group of boys where staring at us now. They let out a low murmur as Lee's eyes widen in shock.

 "Really? Cause I see a ex-track star who got caught giving head in the guy's locker room, come to find out she was going to have a baby." I looked over at Jaz. I knew she had gotten in trouble for something, but this? No this couldn't be true. Jaz's face was a deep shade of red. A group of kids where staring at her now.

 I watched as Lee turned to face me. It was only a matter of time before I would get a tongue lashing.

 Lee! Lesbian Lee! Look Jacky you aren't the only freak in this class! Ha!

 The voice in my head teased. Lee was lesbian? There was some new. Lee parted her lips to say something when I spoke up.

 "Huh, look Lesbian Lee found her voice." Everyone busted out laughing. Jaz grabbed ah-old of my hand and gave me a soft smile.  I instantly regretted what I had said when I saw Lee's face. She looked deflated, like I had touch on a sore spot.

 'Thank you." She mouth as a old male teacher walked in. He was a sulking short man, with thinning gray hair.

 "Everyone settle down, and hush your mouth." He mumbled.