Sunshine and Rain

Chapter 6: Back to reality

The rain continued to pour, it always poured like this around this time of year. In my country we only had two seasons; sunny and rainy, right now we were deep in the rainy season that highlighted Christmas right around the corner. Its was only then I realized how cold it really was and I ran inside for shelter.
As I burst through the large wooden front door I dashed straight towards my room. I didn't quite know why I was running all i knew was I didn't feel like stopping. My mom stood in the kitchen and before she could say a word I was down the hallway and in my room.
"Hacim!!! You too big to be running up and down the house!!"
It didn't really matter now anyway, I was already buried in the warm embrace of my blanket.  I lay there I checking my messages on my phone and as I scrolled through my inbox I saw her chat. We don't talk anymore, I held a partial grudge against her but it was mostly against myself. I began to think back to when I didn't have a phone but I found a way to talk to her regardless. This rain was taking a toll on me.

I was banned. My parents took all electronic devices from me only allowing me to use the family PC. Why was I banned? I don't remember actually, but I managed to find a really old phone and a Sim card on the same network as she was and I kept in touch.The night of her mother's wake floated up to the surface of my mind like a bottle that was submerged in water.

I went to support. As I dressed I told myself she'd be dreadfully dismal and I mentally prepared myself for every negative scenario. I was ready. I looked good, smelled good and my mental arsenal was loaded, so we left.
As I stepped out the car, confidence flowing through my veins I scanned the area for her. I was in the street, her home had a really small yard and so the crowd spilled over into the street and the street lights only gave us enough light to keep us from walking into each other. This was my first time going to her home actually, i never went on my own since i didn't want my mother to get the message. For some reason my parents acted like I'd sex any girl I see but in actuality I turned them down butt naked, literally. 

I stood there for a while whilst my family dispersed, pairing off into their various age groups and friends and indulging in their multiple conversations which was of no concern to me. The air was cold and biting, i quickly grew frustrated and wondered how awkward I'd be looking standing in the street for 10 minutes spinning in circles, so i decided to talk to this guy who I don't like. To be quite fair i never liked him but he didn't know it since I generally lacked in facial expression and when we hung out i was always the black sheep, I was always the punchline or punching bag but I never retaliated because some people just want the attention and I wasn't going to give him that privilege. 

So there I stood, being riddled down by his lame, mediocre, unfunny jokes thinking to myself

'He shouldn't be telling me about my hairline when his in in the 70's......youtube video buffering hairline looking boy, hairline looking like a infomercial punchline "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE", noodle body, stuttering every two words, woody the wood pecker soundin-'

And then I saw her, carrying drinks to people, looking all happy and smiling, being busy and all that and I was disappointed. I've never went to a wake before, I don't know how people act but i was sure they weren't supposed to be happy.