Eating Disorder ||Alren

17.

Later that day..
Ally's pov

"Couldn't you have waited a little while longer, Dinah? What was all the rush and pushing all about!" I whined. "You two were just hugging, alright? Plus, we need you to get back home before you know who comes back from wherever the hell he is right now."

We were both walking out of Lauren's house simultaneously as the bright sun beats down us with its scorching rays of heat making me dizzy while imagining if Troy was already waiting for me with another definition of 'beat down'. My lips formed into a tight smile and I nodded my head in response hoping when we reach her car that it will forever to get home.

But it didn't last forever. Before I knew it we were already sitting on my driveway for at least 5 minutes of silence since we got here. "You know eventually you have to go in there.." Dinah spoke up. I didn't react. I sat there in silence. She laid her hand on my shoulder and rubbed her thumb in tiny circles a couple times and pulled me into a warm hug. "If anything happens.. just text either Normani or I.., got that Ally?" I simply nodded for her concern of me now that I told what's happening. Though, she's still a little wary about the whole situation, she also isn't sure that what I told is true. Not that she doesn't believe me. She's like one of those people who say, "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Got it. Thank you, Dinah."

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Trigger Warning

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I grabbed ahold of the door knob and held it tightly around it with my trembling fingers slipping due to my gross, sweaty hand. It felt like time was stopping... I couldn't feel what I was feeling, if that makes sense? The pit of my stomach dropped to the floor and it felt like I was just about to open the gates of hell. One deep breath in and out led me to turn the knob and the stench of alcohol was all too familiar to me at this point.

The smell of despair was rushing towards as I took a step inside and shut the door behind me, causing it to slam shut and that triggered memories. Memories circulated brain when I heard that slam. The sound that drove me insane. Especially when I was the one getting slammed to the door or the already beat up walls from before. Then just laying in silence with tears rolling down my cheek and my hand covering my mouth so I wouldn't upset the angry, tall man.

Sometimes I wonder if he was still the guy I met years ago. Was he the same Troy that I fell in love with, or was he a figure of my imagination all these years? A hallucination I have at night when I felt cold, and alone while we were in the same bed most nights? Where did it all go wrong. When did it turn us against the world... to his fist against my already bruised cheek? Time flew by quicker than his foot coming into contact with my side when I'm on the floor sobbing and begging for him to stop, but that only makes it worse. His foot just hits... harder... and harder 'til I'm bleeding and pleasing him for an exchange of freedom.

An unbearable smell traveled throughout our home. When I reached the living room there was open boxes of moldy pizza scattered around the coffee table along with empty soda cans with a few spilled all over the floor. I eternally groaned in annoyance and went to the kitchen to grab a trash bag, but stopped. It was the same mess as the living room... but worse than I could think of!

I shook my head and continued to walk in the sorry-excuse-for a kitchen and retrieved a trash bag from the roll and some rubber gloves, too. I removed Lauren's jacket and placed it on the edge of the chair next to me and slid on the rubber gloves, I put up my hair, 'cause of the humidity and started to clean this mess.

Wrappers on the ground... I can't even explain what I'm seeing right now... this, this mess.

After every dish was cleaned, dried off, put away; furniture was pushed back into its place, floors were mopped, dusted, and organized... I had to make dinner to top it all off. And maybe... just maybe have the rest of the day off. Hopefully, Troy shouldn't be that hungry. He pretty much single-handedly ate almost all the food in the kitchen. Plus, ordering from other places. He probably ate more than I do in a whole week or two.

With all the craziness that happened in the morning and cleaning this whole place thoroughly and it was already the late afternoon. For the most part it was quiet. I grabbed the pots and pans and placed them onto the hot stove, setting the knob on high and filled the pot with water to let it boil. I was already worn out. My fingers ached and still smelled like chlorine after washing repeatedly after scrubbing the dirty floors relentlessly.

I plopped on the couch and sighed in relief while shutting my eyes and looked up to the ceiling feeling my aching body finally starting to relax itself from the cleaning and bruising. I had like what, 5 minutes of peace before my phone went off. I peaked with one eye and cursed to myself, but ended up ignoring it... until it went off again, then again, again, again!

"Okay! fine," I yelled to myself. I bent over and retrieved the phone from the coffee table in front of me and laid back down with a sigh. "Lauren?" I bit my lip and opened the conversation with several messages popping out.

Lauren: Hey.

Lauren: Are we okay?

Lauren: Look I never meant to hurt you, you know that, right, Ally?

Lauren: Sorry for spamming. I'll stop now.

Me: I guess so, but it did hurt a whole lot.. Let's just put this behind us and not talk about it anymore.

Me: Please?

Lauren: I'm sorry.

Me: It's okay. It really is, alright?

Lauren: okay

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