Eating Disorder ||Alren

4.

Ally's pov

I followed the long, black-haired girl into a cramped room with many dark purple chairs alining with the wall. Inspirational quotes stuck on to frames at every corner. My palms began to sweat and my throat suddenly became dry and itchy. I cleared my throat and eyes shot up from a few people sitting around on their phones. 

I ducked my head in embarrassment and immediately was drawn towards the chair in the far back corner, that way I wouldn't be the laughing stock of this session or even worse. I felt uncomfortable being around this many people in one room, so when I walked down the aisle of chairs I felt eyes being glued to me every time I took a step closer towards the back.

Once I picked a decent position to sit through the session, more people started to fill up the empty seats and the lady, who I assumed was the instructor, walked in with a clipboard in one hand and a blue pen in the other. Her warm smile calmed my nerves a bit, but I instantly froze when I caught a glimpse of the girl I followed earlier.

This burning feeling started to form on my chest like weights have been thrown on me and I couldn't breathe for a few seconds- at first, I thought I had heartburn, but this burning feeling felt different. I remembered this feeling when Troy and I first started to talk to each other as more as friends and I thought I would have this feeling every time I'd look at him, but not anymore. 

So why is it that I'm feeling this emotion here? The last place I'd rather not be, but it's better than lying on a pool of my own blood... at my own house.

My daydream was interrupted when the woman with the clipboard began talking in front of the group. 

"Hello everyone! Before we begin, we have someone new accompanying us from now on. Can we know your name, Miss?"

Of course she would pick me out first. I'm surprised I didn't even think about it before I got here.

"Um- well, my name is Ally," I sheepishly smiled and returned to fiddling with the sleeves of my sweater. 

"Hello, Ally! Hopefully, by joining us we can help solve your problems as well as ours." I half smiled not knowing what to respond to that, but the lady nodded and dived in with the next topic and the same cheesy smile that has never left her face.

--

Later on, the therapist suggested that we should talk with partners in hopes of sparking up a conversation, but I know she just wants to observe how I will interact with the others. While everyone was paired up, I felt alone when no one decided to come up to me and it was foolish to think that someone would want to talk to the new girl.

I shrugged it off and waited for the kind woman to dismiss us until a shadow crept over me. I know the feeling all to well and thought I was back at home with Troy towering over me waiting for him to unleash his anger to me.

Instead, I saw her face.

"Hey, is this seat taken?" Said the girl awkwardly smiling at me. I shook my head and watched her sit next to me, running her fingers through her long hair.

We both stared at each other before she broke the silence and stook out her hand and said, "My name's Lauren Jauregui and I know yours is Ally, right?" 

I hesitated but brought up my hand that was laying on my lap to grasp hers and slowly shook it and pulled back.

 If that didn't make it any more awkward I don't know what will.

"So... What brought you over here in this hell hole, Ally?" She turned her body towards me and I was still shy since I got here and what made it even worse was her strong eye contact and body language that screamed confident all over.

"I actually did not want to be here at all. I forced to be here by my friends who believed that this was the best option for me at the moment." My eyes wandered off on their own studying her skin, her eyes, just anything about her that I could take in before the next time I see her again.

"If you don't mind me asking... Why did they force you to be here?" 

I paused for a moment. 

Should I tell her the full truth? It's not like me to open up anymore especially if I just met her today.

Although this would probably feel good to at least get some of this weight off my shoulders. Wait. What if she gets creeped out about the real me? I'd ruin a chance of a new friendship.

I mean... If I have problems of my own, I think she would have some too. Hence the fact that's why we're all here in this room.

"They found out that I had trouble eating my food and they thought that there was more to it, so they suggested that I go here, hoping I would get better." Her smile faded a bit but it was still there. She reached for my arm but I flinched. 

I must've startled her because she pulled away and I internally facepalmed myself for that one.

"Well, since you shared, it's only fair if I told you why I'm here."

I nodded and she cleared her throat to commence her story.

"I kind of started to realize I was too sad frequently a while back and when I tried facing my parents and talk to them about it, but both of them answered that it was all in my head and I will soon start to feel better, but it only got worse from there and coming here has made a difference but not too drastic."

"Wow."

Wow? That's all you can say? Really?

"Sorry for that, it must really suck." Her lips formed a line and her head nodded slowly while her eyes wandered elsewhere but my own which I understood. I made it awkward.

"Did you maybe want to hang out later or sometime this week? Since we don't know each other that well."

My eyes shot up and a smile grew on my face and nervously replied, "Yes- Yeah, I would love to! Do you want my number?" She mirrored my smile and took out her phone for me to type in my number and saved it right in front of me.

I couldn't believe I have the prettiest girl in the room's number in my hand.

--

The therapist finally dismissed us and the rest of the people walked out- Lauren happens to be one of them, I sat there for a few more seconds before watching her walk out the door and turned the corner before I got up as well. 

I sighed to myself and headed for the door. 

It wasn't so bad. I thought it'd be worse, but I still rather not be here at all. 

But Lauren made it worthwhile somehow.

Lauren Jauregui.

--

-AZ