Caught In The Scene (LiL PEEP)

Chapter 14

I ducked into the passanger seat of our rented car. Tracy drove, clearly not as intoxicated as the rest of our clique. Good, that's good.

"We heard what happened." Goth spoke up. "I'm really sorry. I know you looked up to him and such." I resisted the urge to cry. Everything was just now sinking in. I knew it wasn't Gus's fault but I couldn't control my anger, it all turned on him. I kept silent so that he wouldn't know more than he already does. I feared that if I parted my lips, even just a sliver, hateful words would rush out. My cheeks burned red and hot tears welled in my eyes. I shook uncontrollably from my fingertips, not knowing why. Thankfully, Tracy spoke my side.

"She appreciates the sympathy. Don't think she's being rude by not speaking, just give her some time." I smiled at him as he pat my thigh in the passenger seat and gave off a half moon of a grin. "You're my sis now." He stated. I'm okay with that. I rested my hand atop his and nodded off.

When I woke I was consumed in a duvet, spare sheets, and fluffy feather-filled pillows. I tossed over to gaze at who was in the hotel room with me, but to my surprise nobody stood guard.

"Hello?" I croaked out. Had they really dipped and went back to the party? I grunted at the thought and tried attracting someone one more time. "Is anybody here?" No answer. "Whatever." I said aloud and removed the covers, swinging my legs off the mattress and standing groggily. I scratched my matted head of hair and yawned, walking toward the bathroom to check up on my features. I was taken aback when I found a note attached to the mirror by some tape. I felt the red computer paper with black ink.

meet me in the parking lot at 2:00

I checked the time. Ten minutes till. Who does this at this ungodly hour? 

Here we go.

Throwing on a change of clothes, more casual than the party dress, I tidied up my appearance. When I headed out the door I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and tested my breath in my palm. Ew. Hopefully I'm not meeting someone important; to me anyway. The door clicked behind me and I trekked to the main doors. 

The night wind tore through my clothing and ripped at my hair. Can I go back to bed? I headed toward the middle of the parking lot, not knowing exactly where to go. The person would have to see me in the dead center. But then I saw him, slouched on one of the two pillar holding up the roof of the roundabout with a cigarette slipped between his parted lips. Puffs of smoke drifted out each time he exhaled and his mocha skin attracted my eyes. How did he find me?

"Jahseh?" I queried, walking toward the figure standing alone. How did he know where GBC is staying...and how did he get into our room?!

"It's about time you woke up, sleeping beauty." He no longer lounged on the support beam of the tan colored building. He started toward me and we met in the middle.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to resolve things with you."

"How did you find me?" I exclaimed, it came out louder than I had meant it. He let the outburst pass.

"I have my connections."

"Ski?"

"Possibly." He said while looking off into the distance and grinding the remainder of his cigarette to the pavement with the ball of his foot. "Maybe I stayed in touch with ColdHart."

"That would explain how you got into the hotel room." I connected the dots out loud.

"Exactly." There was a brief silence. The wind howled in this desert place. I rubbed my hands up and down my biceps to keep warm. The drop in temperature from dusk to dawn is incredible. I couldn't wrap my tiny little brain around it. "I'm sorry for what happened at the party."

"It's over now, but I want to make it clear that he and I aren't a thing...and neither are we." The last part stung. Why exactly am I fighting this anyway?

"That doesn't mean we can't stay in contact."

"It'll only hurt us, especially if we develop strong feelings for one another."

"But we can see each other again in the future and have something."

"I don't want to risk being hurt or hurting you." Nobody spoke until he changed the subject.

"Be honest with me about something."

"Shoot."

"You like him, don't you?" I shrugged, not wanting to do this with my favorite artist.

"I don't know, Jahseh. I've only known him for a total of a few days. I can't fall for any of you though, I'm going home in a few weeks and this will all be behind me."

"Give me your phone." I did as told.

"What are you doing."

"Putting my number in it. I will stay in the present, not the past. I won't be behind you. I really really like you, Clea."

"I know." I commented, I didn't know what else to say. It came across as petty but didn't seem to bother him half as much as I would have guessed.

"Maybe, in time, we can be better friends." He suggested and I curled up in my shell. I know why I'm fighting this. I don't want to get attached and lose him. I don't want to fall in love and never see him again. It's best that I keep him as my favorite musician...that's what he's supposed to be to girls like me. This might be the last minutes I ever see him. Before I knew what I was doing, I propped myself up on my tiptoes and wrapped my forearms around his neck. Leaning in, I kissed him.