Ash And Dust

Mourning

I sat by his body. It was ravens turn to cry over him. I stared at the spot on his stomach that was covered by his own blood. The knife wound that had killed him.

I looked down at my hands and saw they were covered in blood. His blood was on my hands. I started freaking out and tried to wipe it off, but it was already dried. I stood up and ran to camp Jaha. The doors opened immediately and I ran inside. People yelled out my name to try and get me to stop. Tears blurred my vision as I ran to the spot that held our water. I let the water flow, not caring about how much I was using. I stuck my hands under the water and watched the blood start to wash off. I let out a sob that I didn't know I was holding in and let the tears falling from my face.

"Alex?" John spoke softly behind me.

"Go away John, please." My voice broke as I continued to furiously scrub my hands.

John grabbed my hands to stop me, it only made me cry harder. He turned off the water and pulled me into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. It made me feel safer just being there.

"He's gone, John. He's gone." I sobbed.

"I know." He rubbed my hair, trying to soothe me. "I know."

"They're taking Finns body to some sorta ritual at the ground camp right now if you are going to come." Raven told me.

I pulled away from John and wiped away my tears, "Yeah I'm coming."

She nodded and walked away with a radio in her hand. I thanked John with a nod and joined her side.

They loaded Finns body on a cart. Raven and myself sat on it next to Finn. Clarke and Bellamy walked behind us. I couldn't look in their direction. If I did I would probably end up killing clarke. I absentmindedly played with the butterfly on my necklace.

"Finn gave it to you." Raven pointed to my necklace.

I nodded.

"He only gives them to people he truly loves." She told me.

"Thank you Raven."

We set up camp about 10 miles away from Tondc.

They started small fires around the makeshift camp. I stayed away because I knew clarke would be at one of them. I sat at the foot of a tree away from everyone. I had just enough light to see what was around me. I leaned my head against the tree and fell asleep.

Images of my brother flashed through my dreams. Him finding me in the forest. Us hugging. Him giving me my necklace. Clarke killing him.

Someone shook me awake. When I woke up, I shot forward. Hot tears fell down my face. I quickly wiped them away. Bellamy looked a little relieved and sadded at the same time. He took a seat next to me and leaned his back against the tree.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Are any of us?" I countered, I took a deep breathe. "It was Finn. I don't think I'll be getting much sleep anymore."

"Things will get better." He told me.

I didn't believe him this time. It felt like the world was crumbling around me and I was going to get sucked in with it.

A cold breeze blew through the camp, sending a shiver down my spine.

Bellamy gave a small laugh. He opened the side of his jacket, telling me I could use his warmth. He sent a small smirk in my direction. I guess it was his way of trying to make me feel better. I curled up next to him. Laying my head on his chest and placing my hand near my head. He wrapped his arm around me, almost by instinct. It made me feel safe. Like he would fight off my demons for me while I slept. He traced little designs on my hand as I started drifting to sleep. I listestened to the steady beat of his heart and felt the warmth radiating from him. After that I slept, without my brother haunting my dreams.