Heart of Gold (Anthony Rizzo)

Forty Five

Isabella

A few seconds after I hear the baby cry everything goes black. It all turns silent as I feel a bunch of people try to revive me.

But I'm not all the way gone. I can still hear them, feel them. I just can't respond. I was still numb but I feel the tugging and pulling. I hear all the machines going off as I fade out.

"What's happening" Anthony asks.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave" a doctor says.

"Not until someone tells me what the fuck is going on" he demands.

"Sir please calm down" the doctor begs.

"No, why is she dying" he asks.

"Because she's very sick. We're going to try everything to save her, but you have to go" the doctor says.

"Absolutely not. Isabella please, wake up" he begs as someone starts to shake me. I knew it was him, his soft yet firm hands trying to get me to respond. I want to but I can't, I can't open my eyes, I can't open my mouth. I want to tell him I love him, but I can't.

"Security" someone yells and I feel his hands leave me, I missed his presence.

"Alright, we need to stitch her up and stop the bleeding" one says.

The yelling and beeping gets quieter as I become more numb. Finally the dark turns to light as I fade away. It was all over, the sounds and feelings were gone. It was all gone.

Everything in my life goes across in a flash. From when I played volleyball in high school to when Anthony purposed, it was all there. All the times my brother made me laugh, all the times he made me cry. I see my parents in the few years I was with them. I see my mom teaching me how to hit a ball and my dad painting Nicky's room with me before he was born. All the memories of us at the Cubs game having a great time, win or lose. The days Nicky and I sat out in the rain not caring about getting wet, just splashing around like the world wasn't against us. I really wasn't ready to leave yet, I didn't even get to see my daughter. I wonder what Anthony named her, I hope it's a good name.

I hope she grows up to be just like Anthony, so strong and so kind hearted. I hope she doesn't have heart problems like Nicky does, he doesn't need to go through that again. I hope she has Anthony's curly brown hair, I loved running my hands through that. I hope she smiles more than she cries. I hope Nicky has a new best friend, I already know he's going to love her but I would do anything to watch him hold her. I know he's wanted someone and I'm happy I gave him someone. Most of all I hope she loves life just like her daddy does. I hope she doesn't think of me as someone she never knew, but someone she can see inside herself once she gets old enough.

Right before it all fades out I hear something. I become very confused because I shouldn't hearing things.

"Clear" someone yells and I feel a jolt. I feel something? "She's got a heart beat, charge it again" they yell. I feel another jolt and I hear my heart beating in my ears. "She's coming to, keep going" they announce.

After a few more jolts and some really painful moving around my eyes shoot open. My sight was a little blurry but it's better than no sight at all. They take a tube out of my throat as people rush to check on me. I gasp for a breath and a doctor appears above me.

"Isabella, is there anything that feels really wrong right now" a doctor asks. It was a bit confusing with so much going on around me I was defiantly awake.

"I'm alive" I mumble.

"Yeah, we were able to counteract the infection on sight and get rid of the tainted blood. You lost a lot of blood and we lost you for a while there but you fought back" she says.

"I can't believe I'm alive" I whisper.

"You most defiantly are. Lets get you fixed up so you can see your daughter" she smiles.

I get taken to a room where they hook me up to another iv and pump a bunch of drugs in me. I sit there for a little as they fix me up. They clean up the extra lost blood and feel around my stomach for anything wrong. They take some blood and test it and it looks like the infection was gone and I was going to be okay. They kept saying it was a miracle but I came back. They don't know how but I was still here.

I talk to a doctor for a little about what was going to happen next and what this means for the future until there's commotion in the hallway. I turn to it and see Anthony fly into the doorway. The doctor gives was a second and excuses herself for a little.

"You! Don't you ever scare me like that again" he says with tears in his eyes pointing a finger at me.

"I'm sorry" I sniffle. He runs over and pulls me into a huge hug. It hurt my stomach a little but I didn't care. I had the one thing I was going to miss the most. "I thought I lost you. I thought I was going to have to go through life without you and I thought I was going to lose it. I can't even think straight right now... I'm just so happy you're here" he whispers in my ear.

"I was so scared" I admit.

"I know baby, I know. And I am beyond pissed at you right now for leaving me, but it doesn't take away from the fact that I am more than happy to be with you right now" he says.

"I'm so sorry" I say. "But I make that decision every time" I admit.

"I know you would. And no matter how much I hate it, it's the right decision. Nicky might have a heart of gold but he gets it from you" he claims. I touch his face as he stares down at me. I take him in my hands and thank god he let me stay.

"How's our baby" I ask.

"She's good. Her heart is whole and beating. She's so beautiful" he smiles.

"What did you name her" I ask.

"Bella Rae" he says and I gasp.

"That's so incredibly beautiful" I admit.

"I wanted her to have a name like yours. I want her to be like you in every way possible, without the whole dying thing" he laughs.

"Yeah, that's probably not the best idea" I smile.

"God I'm so happy you're alive. I couldn't tell Nicky you died, I looked in those eyes and I couldn't do it. I saw you and I refuse to believe you were gone. I couldn't accept that you were gone. I was so fucking scared" he says softly. I press a kiss to his lips so he stoped rambling.

"I'm sorry" I say again.

"Please stop apologizing. You're here and that's all that matters" he insists.

Eventually they bring in the baby and I smile big. They set her in my arms and I couldn't help but feel so amazing. She was in a pink swaddle and immediately leans into me. The tears come as I look down at my baby girl.

"She's incredible" I whisper. Her little eyes open and I see crystal blue ones. I let out a little gasp as she lets out a yawn and rests her tired head on my chest. I feel a tear slip as I was actually able to hold my baby in my arms. I never thought I would but here I am.

"I'm sorry, I just can't get over the fact I lost you. I'm still shaking" Anthony says as he watches me intently.

"I feel like I'm dreaming" I admit.

"What was it like" he asks sitting in the chair next to me.

"It was kind of peaceful. I was reminder all the good times, I think it was God showing me all the reasons I needed to live" I admit.

"Well they must have been really good reasons" he says.

"They were, we still have to get married" I reply and he smiles.

"I love you so much" he sighs.

"I love you too."