Heart of Gold (Anthony Rizzo)

Thirty Nine

Anthony

As August wears on there are two things inevitable to happen. One was that it was about to be really warm which makes for perfect baseball weather. And two was that school is starting up and I'm about to have empty nest syndrome.

Isabella wasn't going to school physically, she was going to finish her degree online. That'll make it easier for her to take care of Nicholas and herself and the baby. She just needed to finish off a few more classes to get her degree anyway, then she can graduate and she was so excited. It's been a long time coming and the fact she has gotten this far is a accomplishment in itself. What she's been through, it's hard enough. I'm impressed that she got through four years of school already and I can't wait until she graduates. Her grandparents can get off her back and she won't have to worry about it anymore. But I know that's going to take up a lot of her time and we can't just sit on the couch and hold each other all the time anymore.

Nicky is heading to school too, but this year he's starting first grade and he gets to go the whole day instead of half days. He even gets to bring Charlie with him since he's a certified service dog and he proved that he is good at his job. Don't worry, he's still coming to the games and he has special classes to help him out but he's in good hands. And as excited as he was to go back to school with his classmates, he wasn't ready to leave us either.

"Can't you come to first grade with me" he asks us as Isabella finishes packing his lunch and I pack his book bag.

"I have to go to school too" Isabella argues.

"Good, so you're coming" he asks.

"No, I'm going to school at home" she explains.

"Why can't I do that" he pouts.

"Because... I can't teach you and your friends school stuff here" she claims.

"You're right... the class wouldn't fit in the house, it would have never worked. What about you Anthony" he asks.

"I got a game to get ready for" I insist.

"Can I help" he asks.

"Of course, when you get home we'll eat a pre game meal then we can go over together. How about that" I ask and he smiles.

"I can't wait" he claims.

"Me either buddy" I agree.

We get him ready and dropped off for school. I watch him walk in with Charlie and my name across his back and I smile. Isabella appears beside me and laces her fingers through mine.

"He's going to be fine" she insists.

"Shouldn't I be telling you that" I ask.

"Probably. But I'm trying this thing where I don't totally break down when Nicholas isn't next to me" she admits.

"Well your undying love for him must be contagious because I don't know what to do for the next six hours" I admit.

"I have a idea" she whispers and I raise a eyebrow.

"What's that" I ask.

"Lets go back to bed" she smirks and I laugh.

"I am not against that" I admit.

We go home and crawl into bed. I pull her into my chest and she rests her arms on mine. I snuggle my face into my hair and take in her scent. This is nice.

Isabella was over six months along now and starting to show pretty good. She's so excited to be having a baby and it was honestly adorable. Every time someone mentions it she lights up and I swear it makes my heart skip a beat. She makes me shop with her for maternity clothes and I feel like we're this little family.

"Do you ever think about us getting married" I ask.

"Yeah" she admits.

"I think about it all the time" I say.

"Really" she asks.

"Yeah. It keeps me going more times than not, the thought of us being together forever. There's no other way I would want to spend forever. I think that if I didn't have you my life wouldn't have meaning. I would play but I wouldn't be playing for anything, I would just be there. With you it's so much more than baseball, it's impressing the six year old boy in the stands sitting next to you who wants to be like me one day. With you I don't just eat lunch, I'm making memories and being reminded how great life can be. With you it's not just laying in bed, it's day dreaming about our wildest dreams. And I dream about being with you for the rest of my life, forever. I dream of the days I won't be playing, I retired on my own terms and we have moved far away from everything. One day after our kids move out it's just going to be you and me and it's goring to be more than enough. Every morning I'll roll over in bed and let my eyes flutter open, you'll be the first thing I see and I know the day is going to be great simply because you're the first thing I saw. Then I get the honor of watching you wake up and see me for the first time that day, when your eyes search my face I'll know you've already found what you're looking for because we'll have it all. Then when I brush the hair out of your face to reveal those perfect lips I'll finally have the one thing I always want and that's your body against mine. When my eyes open again and they meet your perfect blue ones my heart will skip like it always does when you look at me. I'll tell you I love you because I could never tell you enough times, I'll never be able to describe just how much I love you. Words can't explain how much or why you mean so much to me, but you do. For over a year I've been completely and utterly in love with you. Each day you remind me just how lucky I am to have you.

And as we lie here in bed doing nothing you're reminding me how you make the most simple things beautiful. I would rather be doing nothing with you than everything with someone else. Because with you it's not ever nothing, it's everything to me. And it sounds crazy to think about how much you mean to me. But you're my entire world. I feel like I was sent to Chicago and god sent you to me to help me realize what I'm here to do. It's not to just play baseball or even win a World Series. It was so connect with people like you and learn what strength really is. It was not having parents and trying to make it in the world. It was raising your extremely sick brother to live a full life, not just a long one. It was not listening to other people's idea of what you should be doing and following your heart. It was letting me in even though you were scared and hurt. That's bigger than anything I can do on a baseball and I can see that now.

So yeah, I think about getting married because I can't imagine my life ending up any other way than with you by my side. That's where I feel like I belong" I explain. Silence falls over us as the room sat still. I sit up a little to see if she's still awake. "Did I bore you to sleep" I ask.

"I'm trying really hard not to cry" she admits.

"I didn't want you to cry" I insist.

"I know... I just wasn't expecting that" she claims.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, that was really deep" I admit.

"Not at all. I loved it. It just made me feel so... wanted. So loved and I'm not sure how to react" she explains.

"You can give me a kiss" I say and she giggles. She turns so she's facing me and places a kiss on my lips. She goes to pull away but I pull her back as she smiles against my mouth.

"You know I should be doing homework" she claims.

"But you're not going to" I claim.

"I'm not" she giggles.

"You're tired huh" I ask.

"Exhausted" she admits.

"Go to bed" I encourage.

"I don't want to yet" she claims.

"Why not" I wonder.

"Because I don't want to miss a second of being with you" she smirks. Damn this woman.

"Close your eyes and think of me, that way when you fall asleep you can dream of me" I explain.

"Those are my favorite dreams" she insists. She closes her eyes and I kiss her nose. Her breathing evens out and eventually she's out. I look down and a smile comes on my face. I'm going to marry her one day... one day.