Heart of Gold (Anthony Rizzo)

Twenty

Anthony

Right after the fundraiser we fly out to Florida for Christmas with my family. I have to admit I missed being here but Chicago was home too now. Here was where my family was so it's always nice to be back in Florida.

After getting our suitcases packed into my childhood home and unpacking a little I show them around the house. Our house was about the same as Isabellas back in Chicago and Nick is staying in my old room while we stay in the spare so we were still close to each other. I'm not sure how long my brother will be down for so who knows if anyone will be staying in his room. After that I show them around the town and take Nicky to the part of the city that had the Christmas lights up everywhere. Each house was decorated differently by its owner and they were all lined up like that down the streets of the town. Everywhere you looked it was a wonder wonderland, it was amazing.

We get out of the car and walk around the neighborhood filled with lights and music. I grab Isabellas hands as we follow Nick around the place.

"This is magical" Isabella gasps.

"It's a winter wonderland" Nick yells running down the street.

"Stop running Nicholas" Isabella warns shaking her head. He slows down and waits for us to catch up. His mitt covered hand slips into my free one as we stroll down candlestick lane this brisk Christmas Eve.

"What do you think Santa got you" Isabella asks Nick.

"A car" he says and I laugh.

"And what are you going to do with a car" she asks.

"Drive it... you do drive a car" he says.

"I'm aware. But why do you want a car if you can't even reach the pedals or see over the steering wheel" she asks.

"I haven't worked out the wrinkles okay..." he trails off and I shake my head.

"Okay, fine. What about you Anthony. What did you ask Santa for Christmas" she asks me.

"Yeah, what did you ask for" Nicky adds on.

"Oh, ummm" I trail off.

"I think I know" Nicky claims.

"And what would that be" I wonder.

"You want to give me a little brother or sister" he says and I nearly choke.

"Excuse me" I ask.

"Nicky... did you ask Santa for a little brother or sister" Isabella asks and we stop walking. He doesn't understand that it would be his niece or nephew but he's young enough for it to be a little brother or sister.

"Well... yeah" he shrugs.

"Oh" she says.

"Does this mean you're pregnant now" he asks.

"What? Hell no. I mean... no, I'm not. Anthony and I aren't having a kid right now" she explains.

"But you kiss all the time..." he claims.

"We do. But not enough to have a baby" Isabella tries.

"Oh darn" he says.

"Why do you want a sibling" she wonders. I mean most kids hate having another sibling.

"Because if I'm not here I still want you to have someone" he says.

"I will never find someone like you ever again" she tries.

"Maybe, but if I was to leave I want someone to be there that you can still take care of them. You love me so much and I think someone else should feel that too. You're the best mommy ever" he insists.

"Thanks baby" she says standing up. She grabs his hand and we continue walking.

After a while we head home to rest up for tomorrow. I change into pjs and brush my teeth before jumping into bed. Isabella does her business before joining me.

We lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. There was obviously a discussion to be had but neither of us knew what to say.

"Do you think he thinks about dying a lot" she asks.

"I don't think he does. I think he's a man of many plans and one of them is if we can't find him a heart" I admit.

"I know we keep saying he will, and I.D you say something enough times it comes true, but what if... what if we can't save him" she asks.

"We can't think that way" I insist.

"It's impossible to not think about sometimes. I mean this is the reality of our situation. As much as I want to say we will find him a heart and he won't die I just can't. And I'm so scared that it's going to get to that time and I'm not going to be ready for it because this whole time I've been telling myself this wouldn't happen. He has a point, if he was to leave us right now I won't have any part of my family left for me" she claims.

"Are you saying you want a kid" I ask.

"I don't know" she admits.

"I want to have kids with you" I admit and she rolls over so she's looking at me.

"Really" she asks.

"Yeah, I don't know about right now. But one day" I admit.

"I agree that right now is not the time, but that's nice to know when the time is right" she says softly.

"I don't think that he is going to die" I insist.

"How do you know that" she asks.

"I don't know for sure, but I also can't imagine my life without him" I shrug.

"Me either" she sighs.

The next morning we all help my mom make dinner for everyone. She finally believed me that I knew how to cook and the look on her face was better than any Christmas present I could ever get.

I have a big family and to feed them all we had to prepare a bunch of food. By 3 everyone was here and talking around the house. There wasn't much room to move in let alone breathe and it was so loud but hey, we're Italian.

It comes time to hand out presents and it was basically a worship circle. My family are lovers and as soon as I told them this might be Nicholas' last Christmas they gave him anything he wanted. Most of them met him for the first time today and still have him a bunch of toys or clothes sitting around him as gifts.

Isabella goes over and places a large box in his lap and she returns to my side. He opens it up and flips out when he sees it was a small motorized car and I laugh.

"How did you pull that off" I ask.

"I had Santa go out last night and get it" she claims.

"Was it my dad" I ask.

"It was your dad" she smiles.

We help him open the box up and charge up the car. He takes it to the street and gives it a whirl. Thank god we were in Florida and there was no snow.

"How are we getting this stuff home" I ask looking at the human sized pile of his gifts on the floor.

"Didn't you know, Nicky is driving" she giggles.

"Great, at that rate we'll get home by the New Year. Maybe" I laugh. I place a kiss on her temple and she smiles up at me.

"Merry Christmas Baby" she says.

"Merry Christmas Bella."