Africa (urban)

Chapter 24

NOT EDITED...

Jamal POV

Dammit! I got myself into some shit. I just had to tell her.. Lemme go first. My hands are getting moist and my stomach is doing some flips and turns. I started to grab her hands but I decided against it. I need to man up and just speak from the heart. I sighed, rubbed my hands on my sweats, and looked up at her.

"I just wanna start off saying.. I am sorry. Like forreal sorry. I disrespected you too many times. My mouth keep getting me in some fucked up situations. Uhh..I shouldnt have left you. I didnt have to walk out on you the way I did. If I didnt leave you wouldnt have gotten shot. You wouldnt have even walked away from me and because of my childish ways, you are injured and my babygirl saw something she shouldnt have. My granny and yo parents told me that I been a dumbass and I agree with them all. I am at fault for all of this shit that happened.I just want you to stop pushing me away. I want to help you. I want to be there when you fall. I really wanna apologize for this shit. What I said at my granny house was out if line. I knew what you been through and I once again let my mouth get me in some shit. I seen the cup in the cabinet and yall were a beautiful family. Well you and your son was. I wanna make you happy Africa. That smile you had on your face cant be replaced because he was your son, but I really want to have another chance to put that smile on your face. I think I am begining to love you. Madison loves you already and I dont want to just not have you in her life anymore "

She just looked at me. She aint saying nothing, and Im starting to feel like she aint finna take me back. I feel like she just ignored everything I just said. 

"Well.." She was looking down.

"Well? Thats all you have to say?" I said in disbelief.

She looked up at me and tears were running down her eyes and I mentally slapped myself. I need to back off. She quickly wiped her tears.

"Well..Jamal. I forgave you already. I forgave you the day I was released from the hospital. While I was in the restroom, I was thinking. I need to apologize to him. I have to apologize to him. I cursed him out. I ignored him and all that other shit. You have really helped me. Like beyond what I could have ever even asked for." She paused to wipe her eyes, I held my breathe. I thought she was finna say something about that nurse. She continued. "Jamal. DONT blame any of this on yourself. Not one bit of it. It is really no ones fault. You didnt shoot me. If anything I should apologize to you. For giving you a hard time. I aint mean to be like that. To be honest, I believe that my anger came from my coma. I was with my babyboy for the time being and when I woke up, I had to come face to the fact that I wont be seeing him anymore.

Africa POV

Yes. I did say that was where my anger cam from. That is halfway true. The other half if that I wanted him. I wanted him to be there for me emotionally, instead he tore me down. I dont think Jamal realizes the things that he said cut me deep. I did forgive him COMPLETELY, but I did NOT forget it. I could never forget what he said to me.

"I miss him so much Jamal." He tried to hug me, and I moved a little. "This is something that I have to learn to live with alone. I cant get help with this. My son is gone for good."

"Why are you pushing me away?" Because I dont wanna get attatched.

"I dont know"

"Why is it that everytime I try to help you, you move away? I try to hold you and you reject me? Whats the issue?" I dont want to get too close and you end up leaving me. You will end up saying something and I will be left alone.

"I said I dont know" He was getting frustrated and I really started to feel bad. I looked down and was debating on going back to my room. I think I did enough running.