Love The Hurt Away

Twenty-Fucking-Nine

Hi loves. I miss yall and I know you want your ending. It will be up soon. I have something I want my Honeybees to read. I'm working on a new story for Radish. Tell me what you think and if you'll read it. Am I going in the right direction? Its very different than what I've done before.  Its called Twenty-Fucking-Nine. Its about a 29 year old woman and her navigation to Woman-dom lol

Twenty-Fucking-Nine

"I fucking hate it here! Every time I wake up here, I want to go back to sleep and wake up somewhere else." Maybe that was a bit strong to say to my mother in the middle of my melt down but oh-fucking-well. I know moving back home when you're in your twenties is hard as fuck but damn, I think even Jesus himself would need a break from this bullshit. Let me break this shit down to you. My name is Nia. Nia Jordan and I'm twenty-fucking-nine living at home with my 3 siblings and my mother. We all have issues with mental illness. I'm talking big deal shit like clinical depression, anxiety, and THE BIG MUTHAFUCKA; PTSD. Now all of this and on top of struggling to survive, being black in America, and all of us are overweight. Do you remember the little egg people that one of your classmates brought to school for show and tell? You know, they are small to the largest egg. Well in my family I'm the largest gotdamn egg. Morbidly obese according to the diagram in my Doctors office. It sits next to the sculpture of a vagina. Yep, a gray vagina. Or a person playing with death according to my Doctor himself. Dr. Johany loves to guilt trip me after I tell him I've eaten cheesecake for breakfast.

"Cheesecake? I have never heard of someone eating this for breakfast." He routinely scolds me in his Indian Accent.

"Well there's a first for everything Doc." I smirked.

"Nia this is serious. You're going to die very young if you don't lose weight. This isn't a laughing matter." I stared at my hands and thought about my sister Lilly. She died at my age. Matter of fact she died exactly 30 days to her 30th birthday. It sucks to think about but for me that's a real possibility. I'm 6'0 tall and 593 pounds which is total bullshit if you ask me. I believe that scale was broken. Don't laugh at me I'm serious. That shit was flickering numbers before I stood on it and I know just 11 days ago I was 582. Granted I was dehydrated from smoking a shit load of weed. I've been eating a little bit more than before, but there is no way I put on that in 11 days. Fuck outta here!

I'm not your typical TLC 600lb life. I'm active...to an extent. I work by driving rideshare; which I can't do for more than 5 hours because my ankles swell. I still get niggas. Oh yes I'm cute. Think the black Tess Holiday. I even have a guy interested in me now. And fuck you if you think oh I'm his fetish because I'm not. At least not this time around. I've had my fair share of fetish seekers. Some good looking and all were assholes. Let's see there was Darryl who enjoyed caressing my ass at the most inappropriate times. Like, at the salad bar in the Sizzler, on a damn Sunday, when every fucking person and their blood relative decides to meet and eat all the fried chicken. The pink lemonade dispenser always fucking breaks and somebody's punkass kid decides they wanna be the REAL CRUMBSNATCHER and take all the Reese's pieces topping for the ice cream. Lil fuckers!

Where was I? Oh yea Darryl. See sex was the goal and the scheme. He stood at 6'3 athletic frame complimented by his rich dark brown skin. Oh yes! A bitch gotta get articulate when describing that fine ass nigga. He had a real deep voice that instantly got me wet. It was weird because it was a mix between Rick Ross raspy and Vin Diesel deep. Go Ahead I'll wait... Exactly. He had shoulder length dreds that made him look devastatingly handsome when they were freshly twisted.

  Darryl seemed like a decent guy. He was smart educated, spiritual, and articulate. He wanted a lot for himself and he loved to talk about it if you'd listen. I'm talking all... the... gotdamn... time. He would talk for hours about himself. ON and On about his likes and dislikes and how he felt that Donald Trump was misunderstood and could do a lot for the black community. Shit that was a sign that that nigga was not to be trusted.