His Princess

xvi

It's right before the fiftieth hit that she feels it. Bile rising and she can't settle it. Before his hand can connect with her bum, Billie's running to the trashcan to vomit. Joker doesn't know what to think. He comes down from Joker OG mode and is immediately at her side, coaxing her into his arms. "Was I too rough"? "No. I'm sorry daddy. I'm really sorry I don't know why I said it. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry". "Sh. We'll talk about that  later. Come on. Lets get you into the tub". When he stands her up, he carefully picks her up bridal style, fully forgetting the shorts wrangled around her ankles, and walks to the bathroom. He turns the knob to the left , leaving the tub to fill with hot water.

Joker settles on the side of the tub, turning off the water when it rises to the right height. "Are you feeling sick"? "I'm fine. It's all okay". He wipes the tears from her eyes and kisses her head, a sigh escaping his lips when she curls in on herself. "Let me see your leg". "My leg is fine daddy. It's okay". He takes her leg into his hand and inspects it for himself. It looks fine. He feels her face for any type of fever and feels nothing. "Billie. I need you to be honest with me. Okay"? He waits for her nod and quickly receives one. "Did I hurt you? Or scare you? Make you nervous or something"? Billie shakes her head, lacing her fingers with his. "It's only a bit of sickness". "Yes, but twice. That isn't okay. You have to be okay. If you're not, it's because I'm doing a bad job and can't take care of you. I've got to take care of you always. I can't fail. I won't".

Billie sighs and looks down at him, her hands pulling away from his. "You aren't failing at anything". "Then why are throwing up"? "I don't know! I have no fucking clue"! Joker watches her crumble after that, a slow breath escaping past his lips. "Billie", he whispers, pulling her into his arms. "Don't cry". "Please just leave me alone. Please". With a kiss to her head, he takes his leave.

Now, it's not that Billie wants to be left alone. Hell, she'd rather be in the bath with him caressing over her skin in that sensual way. But she can't. She won't.

This is how days pass.

Billie saying next to nothing. Joker trying and receiving nothing. Billie's  constant sickness.

Two weeks.

Two weeks without a single word spoken, a single touch, or even a kiss. Nothing.

It's around eleven, just before midnight, when he decides to confront her about it. He walks to their room and stands at the foot of the bed, a glare on his face. "Billie. Billie Billie Billie Billie. You've been ignoring me and I don't really like that. You're going to explain everything to me or I will personally see to it that your new friend does. And you know I don't like repeating myself. I wonder how long it would take for him to crack". That makes Billie shoot up and he's right in her face. She hadn't realised he was so close. "Leave him alone. He hasn't done anything and doesn't know anything either. Leave me and him alone".

And he gets this itch. The one in his palm that makes him do stupid things. Like wrap his hand around Billie's throat and pull her closer. "Listen. I don't know what kind of mood you've been in and I don't really fucking care. You're supposed to tell me when somethings wrong. I'm supposed to fix it. How can I fix it if you don't tell me"? "You can't fix everything". "Maybe not. But I can sure as hell try". "But you can't. That's the point". Joker lowers his hand from her throat and sighs. "What's wrong? Just tell me something". Billie shrugs, her eyes lowering and her body slagging. "I dunno what's wrong. I don't. I have no clue. I just... I'm a burden to you. I'm not bad like you are. I can't protect myself in any way. I can't cook or clean for you. I'm worthless. I'm the reason you keep fighting and torturing and I'm the reason you're constantly being followed. I ruined your life. I ruin everything".

Joker takes her into his arms and kisses her head. They stay embraced for a moment, Joker cringing at the tears that drip onto his skin and Billie letting out her emotions. He never knew she felt like this. But he knows why. Partly anyway. It's subdrop. He knows that. He just doesn't know why now. "Billie. None of this matters. It's all one big joke. Everything anyone has ever struggled for.... it's all one monstrous demented gag. So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing? Why are you crying"? "Your logic makes no sense to me". He leans her back and looks into her puffy red rimmed eyes, his own two indigo orbs hard as he does. "Everything is a joke to me but you. How can a joke be ruined Billie? It can't. And you didn't change me. Don't worry about that Billie. I'll never change".