COSMOS | Complete

CHAPTER 20: A & A

ASHER

I visit the marketplace with Heidi frequently – we go at least once a month. The stretch of water and aroma of produce make an excellent stress reliever, not to mention Heidi, who listens to my rambling during every trip.

I park the car at the bottom level of the parking lot building, and we approach the elevators. It's a short ride to the top, where we cross a bridge over rippling blue waves, before entering the market. Right as we go in, we are met with loud chatter. One booth gives off the tick of beads as an old woman rearranges her collection, while the rustle of flowers echo from another. The smell of seafood wafts the air, met with the delicious aroma of chocolates and jam. Heidi leads the way through the crowd, stopping at a table packed with various jars of honey. The white tablecloth is buried under a vast collection of produce, glistening and golden. I smile at the man who stands behind the booth, whom is refilling one jar with honey sticks. He has a tuft of white hair and a warm smile.

"Heidi, hello." Beside me, Heidi shakes his hand. "The usual, I presume?"

"Yes, thank you." She waits patiently as the man picks out two jars and carefully sets them in a plastic bag. Heidi pays, bids him farewell, then ushers me to the next booth.

"You seem awfully quiet today." She tips her head at me, brown eyes thoughtful. The two of us share the load, both carrying three small bags. Heidi prefers fresh produce – she has a stigma against supermarkets.

The two of us stop at a booth laden with apples. Turning the ripe, red fruit in her fingers, she turns back to me. "What's up?"

I shrug, moving up beside her to help sort out the biggest ones. "It's dumb," I mutter, holding out an apple to her. Heidi smiles in satisfaction and places the fruit in a paper bag.

"Nonsense," she scoffs. "You can tell me anything."

I smile gratefully, twirling the apple between my fingers. "It's Aaron," I admit. "He's suddenly being really nice to me ... and I'm wary."

Heidi remains quiet, urging me to continue.

"I mean, we all know his reputation. He uses girls like they're recyclable, he hasn't even been in a relationship longer than a month." I pass more apples to Heidi. "I've been hurt enough. I don't want to get hurt again."

Heidi stops, looking down at me. Her expression is serene, wise; a woman of early thirties, Heidi is beyond her age. "How do you know he's looking for a relationship?"

"I don't know. I don't."

"Sometimes, Asher, people just need a friend."

Heidi stops, tipping her head thoughtfully. "I know he's surrounded by people, but I think he needs a true friend."

"And he would consider me as one?"

Heidi puts the bag of apples on a scale, the digital numbers flickering. "Of course. You don't use him for his status, you don't use him for his looks – he doesn't have to be someone else around you." She turns to dig out her wallet, then proceeds to slide her credit card through the machine. "Believe me, Asher – he is beyond grateful to have someone like you."

I'm quiet, rooting through Heidi's words. They seem true enough, and quite flattering, but part of me refuses to trust Aaron completely. Maybe he uses me to rant, or just someone to keep his secrets. Am I anything more than that?

The last thing I want is to waste my time.

AARON

7 pm. I dig out a beer bottle, peering at it closely. The object feels heavy in my hands, a deadweight.

I picture myself cracking it open, and downing it in a few gulps. Then reaching for another, and another, until I have succumbed myself to the venom. Regretting every decision beforehand, but doing nothing to stop it.

The urge to drink myself stupid is there, in the back of my head, egging me on. I feel my body physically pull the drink to me, latching onto it with invisible grip. Begging me. One sip. One drink.

I close my eyes, my body trembling. Carefully, I tuck the bottle back into the refrigerator.

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