Up In Smoke

Not enough

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COURTNEY'S POV:

I walk into my house and throw my shoes off of my feet at the door and shut it.

I let out a huge sigh and walk up the stairs to the living room to see Mary sitting there sipping coffee.

"Hi." I say plopping down on the couch.

"You okay?" She says seriously . And in her tone of voice I can tell SHE isn't.

"I'm always fine aren't I. But you on the other hand aren't okay. So tell me." I say pulling a pack of cigarettes out of my backpack along with a lighter.

"Me and Harry are arguing. Nothing new."

I blow smoke out of my mouth before responding to her.

"Ha, I know how you feel." I hand her the cigarette.

Her eyebrows furrow. She's never smoked a cigarette before and I didn't think she ever would.

"What do you think?" I say to her.

She blows smoke out of her mouth and continues to smoke it.

My phone rings in my bag and I scramble to look for it.

"Hello?" I say

"Why isn't Mary answering her phone?"

I put the phone onto speaker.

"Well hi Harry. How's it been? Nice for you to call. I missed you too." I say sarcastically while laughing.

"I'm serious. Tell her to call me now."

"Not with that attitude mr." Mary starts to chuckle and he hears her.

"Call me NOW!" He growls.

I hang up the phone.

"Why'd you hang up?" She says continuing to chuckle and put out the cigarette.

"That conversation was getting way too hostile." I laugh.

"How are you and Niall?" She says getting serious.

"Ehh. I don't even know myself. I'm not too worried about it to be honest." I say.

"Well I know. And that's why me and Harry are arguing. Because he took Niall's side."

"Wait what are you talking about?" I'm confused.

"About the whole him sleeping with Kendall thing? Harry said boys will be boys and that you should get over it." She says looking just as confused as I am.

"He slept with Kendall?! He never told me that!" I say raising my voice.

"Of course. He told you while you were pissed. That's why you don't remember." She scoffs and pulls out her phone and texts someone.

I sit there letting everything sink in. I don't know if I'm more upset that he slept with her or he didn't have the balls to tell me while I was sober and aware of what he was talking about.

Mary dials someone and is talking to them which takes me from my thoughts.

"No, sorry isn't enough sometimes Ni. You're unbelievable." She says.

"Give me the phone." I say as she hands it over.

"I'm sorry okay? I apologized to you last night. Everything was okay this morning what the fuck?!"

"You're saying it like it isn't a big deal. You slept with Kendall-"

He cuts me off.

"Save it. I heard it all last night."

"Yeah, when I was too drunk to function? Great timing to tell me you had sex with a slag." I scoff.

"I'm coming over and we're gonna talk about this alright?" He says calmly.

"No. Fuck that. You always think there's second chances. I'm done with that. Sometimes there aren't second chances. There's no 'time out's' or 'next time's'. Sometimes you don't get forgiveness. It's now or never and you even managed to screw that."

"Will you just hear me out. I'm not arguing with you about it because we did that last night and I'm tired of re-runs."

"YOU?! YOU'RE tired of re-runs?! Well hey that makes two of us." I say screaming almost.

"I'll talk to you when you're calmed down." I can't see him but I imagine him running his hands through his hair.

"No. This isn't going to be like the other times. Where I forgive you, and everything's good for a while, then you fuck it up. No. I'm tired of giving out chances. I love you, but sometimes that's not enough. Not enough to be going through what I do."

"That has to be enough. Love please."

"It's not. I'm sorry." I say hanging up the phone before Niall can hear me crying.

I toss Mary's phone to her and go downstairs.

"I'm gonna go talk to him. Try to make things okay." I hear Mary say from the top of the stairs.

"You're wasting your breath." I say hickuping because of the crying.

She doesn't answer, I just hear the door close.