To: MinGyu •| Seventeen FanFiction |•

V 4 ; T W E N T Y T H R E E

Dear MinGyu,

            Time has finally come, and now I'll explain to you why I've stopped texting you.

            Our texts were mainly about anime..... well, more like always about anime. Our texts mainly started with me saying hi or hello...... well, more like always starting with me saying hi or hello. But our texts were precious to me.

            Even though you never seemed interested in anything I had to say except when it had to do with anime,  even though I was the one to always text first, and even though you seemed cold most of the time except when you accidentally let go while discussing anime, I wholeheartedly enjoyed our chats.

             I don't know if you've figured out that I've liked you or you still think that I only text you because you too like anime, but I didn't care because all that mattered to me was that I was talking to you.

            Until one day, I was hanging with LeeHi and a couple of friends. Every once in a while I would glance at you, just for the sake of looking at you, I didn't care what you were doing or who you were interacting with, I just loved glancing at you here and there.

             But, a glance after the other and I started to notice some pattern; LeeHi would always be looking at you every time I did. By then I had figured it out and all I needed was EunJi's confirmation which was quite easy to obtain.

            As soon as I got home I texted EunJi, I asked her loud and clear, I asked her if LeeHi still has feelings for you. The answer was pretty much what I predicted; LeeHi still does like you, even though you've moved on.

            I felt sad, frustrated and a lot of mixed, negative feelings at that point, but one feeling overweighted all and it was guilt. I felt guilty for liking my friend's crush, I felt guilty for making a move and texting my friend's crush, which led me to do what my heart considers a mistake and my mind considers an achievement; it lead me to stop texting you.

            The highlight of my day, every day, now gone. I've been texting you for nearly a month by then, but guilt put an end to that. I have to admit though, I did regret it and I still do.

            However, EunJi has been supportive of my choice, she has been asking me weekly if I've been texting you and telling me that she's proud, she's proud that I gave up on you because my friend likes you, she's proud that I'm loyal to LeeHi, but little did she know beneath my brain lies my heart, and beneath my loyalty lies my greed.

Yours,
Jin Eun