Unthinkable (Completed)

Chapter Thirty

Peace and Quiet.

That is what is being taken place right now in my home. It is nine in the morning and I am home alone. Nicki is gone off to her classes and work for the day and Shawn is wherever. I had to leave his place yesterday before I caught a case. The back and forth bullshit with Rosario is draining and Shawn not putting her in her place is irritating. Before she had SJ, Shawn didn't hesitate to let her know that she wasn't nothing more to him than the mother of his son but now that Rosario had the baby he is all in her face like she didn't do him bogus or like she doesn't sit in my face and disrespect me. Then when I say something I'm the one that's tripping or acting jealous. He doesn't know how close I am to just walking away from it all. I can't keep doing this bullshit.

Speaking of Shawn he keeps blowing up my phone to the point I had to turn my phone off. I did not want to speak to him right now. He doesn't understand that I need space. Being by myself will help me think clearly. He was so upset when I woke up from my nap yesterday and left his house without saying anything to him. He had to call Nicki just to make sure I was safe because I wouldn't answer any of his calls.

I don't need to deal with any drama since I am about to be in my last trimester and if that means I need to be single then that may be what will happen. I don't want to be stress out anymore. With that being said I am about to take a nap because sleep has been calling my name.

"You know it is messed up that you won't be able to drink for your 21st birthday." Nicki stated.

We were having lunch at Red Lobster. It was 1:15, Nicki had 3 hours before she had to go to work so she ask me to meet her here.

"I know right but at least I got somewhat fucked up for my 20th birthday" I said as I dipped my fried shrimp into the cocktail sauce.

Nicki giggle "That doesn't count. Being 21 means being able to do all the legal shit that we did when we wasn't legal." She paused "But anyways what is going on with you and your baby daddy? He was texting me in class asking me to tell you to call him."

"Girl!" I said in an annoyed tone "I told you yesterday that Rosario came over to his house on bullshit with me for no reason."

"You did"

"I also told you about how Shawn keeps on letting her play him when it comes to SJ"

"I remember"

"I'm just tired of it all from Rosario being a bitch and disrespecting me to Shawn acting like if he don't keep his son everyday than he is a bad father so he doesn't tell Rosario no. He just doesn't understand that right now all I want is space to help me think about our relationship and what I want to do."

Nicki took a sip of her sprite "So you want to just end things with him all together?"

"That is what my mind is telling me to do but my heart is telling me to hold on and keep trying because Shawn isn't necessarily the problem. It is Rosario bitter ass that keeps having me second guess my relationship. That should never be the case."

"Maybe you should just beat her ass that will probably get her to stop fucking with you. Or maybe I should beat her ass for you." Knowing Nicki she was dead ass serious about that.

I shook my head "Girl you are a mess. I would love for that to happen but I will continue to kill that girl with kindness."

Nicki and I finish eating at Red Lobster then we headed in separate direction.

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It has been two days since I last seen or talked to Bey and it is driving me fucking crazy that she has been ignoring me because of some bullshit Rosario done said to her. I have told Rosario about her damn mouth and ask her on so many occasion to stop disrespecting Beyoncé yet she keeps on doing it. I can't control what comes out of her mouth but according to Beyoncé I can. I don't know what to do about these two, Rosario always wants to be childish towards Bey for no reason and Bey wants me to basically say fuck Rosario and just take care of my son. The only way I feel like I can please the both of them if I was to be single and co parent with them. I'm fine with co-parenting with Ros, its Bey who I don't want to co- parent with because I actually want to be with her and be a family. But I guess things don't always work out the way you want them to. Unfortunately I feel like Bey is going to break up with me and I don't know how I will take it if she does. I don't want to lose her over Rosario bullshit. That is why I am about to fight for my relationship and not let her walk away from me.