Counterfeit

-thirtyfour--

--thirtyfour- (the gif gives me butterflies - especially when he has a sigh of relief)

JUST BECAUSE A feeling becomes familiar, does not mean that you feel it any less. 

Example: you could have lost someone one year ago, or one month ago, or nine days ago, and the pain can still feel the same as the moment it first came to you. 

People get used to emotions - we decorate them, trying to cover up the cracks and the ugliness and turn it into something a little less bitter and broken. We like to think that some feelings can no longer reach us after a certain amount of time, but they always linger right under the surface of our skin. All it takes is a scratch. 

Conclusion: time heals nothing. 

Twigs snapped and leaves crackled behind me - it was the world's way of letting me know that I wasn't alone anymore. I wasn't sure who would be there when I looked, but I was desperate for it not to be MiKinley. 

Anyone but him, I thought. Even a guard would be better. 

Relieved, it wasn't, though instead, I was met with not only one, but two faces carrying a weight of pity as they eyed me down. 

I was surprised to see them down here; Ava was always too cautious of the Fog to go anywhere beyond the trees, and well, with Patrick, I wasn't even aware that he knew about this place. Nevertheless, they drifted over to me, careful of their stepping and surroundings. Every now and then, Ava would peer over her shoulder to ensure, what I guessed was, that no one was watching us. To her concern, we were safe. 

"You like it down here, don't you?" Patrick addressed me. 

I shrugged as they hovered around me, contemplating whether or not to sit down. "What's not to like? This place lets me be alone."

Someone sighed heavily - almost dramatically. Of course it was Ava. She walked over to me with a slight huff and plopped herself down to my left, hesitant to make contact with any dirt. 

A few moments passed before she spoke. "Does it let you be alone, or does it make you lonely?"

"There's not a difference." 

"There is, Pip." 

"What is it, then?"

Her eyes - which had been studying the water, focused on me. "It's all the difference in the world." 

I looked away from her, but Patrick came and joined us, sitting on my vacant side. I began to feel awfully selfish. Was I making her feel alone? Was that her way of trying to tell me? 

I know I had missed Charleston, but by letting the feelings consume me, I hadn't realized that I was lost, too. I was right next to her, but she still missed me. Only now did I see that.