Falling Tears

Chapter 48

A/N: I just... You know...

Jimin's POV

It didn't take long from me to realize I was the problem.

The first time I only thought it was weird and that maybe Jungkook was still awkward enough so he asked for my permission. But the second time, I knew something was wrong. We had cuddled before we even got together, not that kissing was a new thing for us either, but cuddling. Kids cuddled. Friends cuddled. Parents hugged their children.

The worst part was that usually Chim the voice would've been screaming the truth in the back of my head but now he was quiet. My head was a mess. Chim the voice didn't know what the truth was because the voices weren't the only one who thought Jungkook was acting strange.

So, no one was defending me. There was no "the other part of my brain", because all thought the same. I was the problem. Everything added to the fact I thought I was fat and that no one wanted me. Jungkook had once thought he did, but now he had realized the truth too.

It was a crushing feeling. When Sumin yelled at us to wake up, I got up quickly and ran to the shower. I didn't look at the mirror, I didn't look for the flaws I knew were there. I showered fast, not letting the tears fall. But after I turned the shower off, I stared at the bathroom wall for 5 minutes. Jungkook was going to leave me. On one hand it was nothing new. I had always known I wasn't meant to be loved so no one would care enough to stay by my side their whole life. I just had thought that maybe some things Jungkook had said could be true. I had had moments when I had believed that Jungkook cared and thought I was beautiful and that he wanted me.

Clearly, I had been wrong.

He stared at me a lot, though. I wasn't sure if it was out of guilt. He must have known he was going to break my heart at some point, or rather soon. When I went downstairs after changing, Jungkook offered me an apple but I shook my head at him. He didn't push it, and as I was happy about that, it also made me want to cry. He doesn't want you to eat, a voice said. Chim the voice stayed quiet.

Jungkook didn't take my hand when we walked to the school. He stared at our hands while we walked close to each other but made no move. I decided against it as well. If he didn't want to hold my hand, then I wouldn't make him. I wanted to scream at him and demand him to tell me why he was this way but I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready hearing you're not enough for me from his mouth. I was so sick of the voices telling it to me anyways.

I wasn't sure why Jungkook seemed so confused when I subtly ignored him the rest of the school day. I talked to Yoongi more than him and even Yoongi raised his brows at me when I gave Jungkook one word replies.

Before last class Jungkook had had enough. He pulled me from my sleeve to an emptier hallway. Even with his weird behavior, he had wanted to walk me to each of my classes. I did appreciate it but it felt even more weird with his behavior. He didn't want to touch me, but never left my side either?

"Jimin, what's wrong?" His frown was deep and he kept looking into my eyes, probably trying to look for the answer from there. But didn't he already know the answer?

I tucked my sleeve away from his grip. "Nothing's wrong." Lie. Everything was, and him pretending not to know it made my heart hurt. Why was he doing this?

"Something is!" he insisted loudly. "Tell me!"

I flinched away from him.

Jungkook's eyes widened. He took a softer tone immediately. "Tell me."