My Strength & My Shield / psm28:7

28 Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes, I have to wonder about God and why He allows His faithful to face such heart-wrenching trials. Why do my friends who have laid down their lives at His feet in service, cry out in utter brokenness? Why do they lose their children to disease or accident? Why do they go through trial after trial, facing continual unemployment or loss of loved ones over and over again? Why is the world around them pulled out from under them when they have done nothing to deserve the hurt and pain of events beyond their control? 

It doesn't seem fair when good and faithful followers are crushed and broken by those whose sole desire is to bring harm. It doesn't seem fair when I see mothers and fathers bury their children. It doesn't seem fair when the innocent are robbed of life because another has no concept of life's value, and takes it from them. 

So sometimes I wonder why, and I have to take a hard look at what I know about God in order to make some sense of His actions or lack thereof. Sometimes, I have to admit that He knows a whole lot more than I know - that He alone can see the overall picture of each life - that He alone 'gets it' even when I don't. Sometimes, I can accept why without understanding why but most of the time, I don't want to accept it especially when people I love are crushed by a God who loves them. 

And then it dawns on me, and I get it - that sometimes, others suffer not because of anything they've done or haven't done; not because God's mad at them or is punishing them. They suffer for the benefit of people around them. They suffer so that folks around them witness what never fails them - their hope in Christ. Sometimes... they suffer for me so that when I face unbearable trials, I know who to depend on when all else is shattered. 

My Lord suffered for me too, having done nothing to deserve it. But still He suffered and I know, if God called on Jesus to be crucified again for me, He would. In fact, He does. Every time I sin, He suffers all over again. Every time I sin, the hammer falls upon the nail that held Him to the cross. 

So while as a person, I sometimes question God about why those I love are made to suffer, I should be questioning myself. Do I hold steadfast to God with hope in Christ when everything around me is falling apart? Do I remain faithful in those times of great despair so that those who love me see my hope and strength? Do they see that I cling to my God and Savior - that I walk through trials focused on the promises of my God? 

I hope so. 

[Because of Caleb.] 

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. (Revelation 22:1-5)