My Strength & My Shield / psm28:7

13 - Overwhelmed by God

When I think about God... when I sit down and really think about Him... that's about as far as I get. I get too emotional to continue because I'm overwhelmed by Him. I'm overwhelmed by the fact that the same God who created heaven and earth and everything else, gave thought to creating me. And if he knows the stars by name, I'm overwhelmed because that means He knows my name. I'm just not worthy of that. 

So when I really think about Him, like I said, I don't get very far, and I become a blubbering idiot who can't find the words to tell Him all the things that I had intended to tell Him when I first sat down to have a talk with Him. It's rather unproductive on my part. 

I don't have enough moments like that though, and that's wrong. I should feel that overwhelmed every single time I talk with God, but most of the time it's a laundry list of prayer needs that I've read or heard about through the day, or prayer for my daughter and even prayer for me because I'm naturally a little on the selfish side. 

I want more of those times. I hunger for more of that, where I don't have to say a single word or think a single thought - where I just sit down with Him, and He knows I'm overwhelmed by Him. The rest of what I intended to say, He knows it anyway, so my saying it doesn't make it any more real to Him. Real is when I look up and my soul is bare and empty before Him, and I am simply struck with tears rolling down my cheeks because I'm overwhelmed by Him. Overwhelmed with nothing to say that will impress Him, nothing to pray that will be new to Him and in awe because it's just me and Him. 

He's heard it all before, so I give myself a little grace when I don't accomplish all the productive prayer I intended to share. I give myself grace because I have to wonder if while I'm sitting here overwhelmed by Him, if He isn't just a little overwhelmed as well that I've come before Him with nothing more than myself, His child; the child He gave His son's life for. 

I have nothing to offer God that He couldn't give to himself if He wanted it - nothing more than me in all my sin and imperfections. But somehow, I think that's probably okay with Him. 

Check out Job 38-40.