Touched

Fifty Six

Thea Elise

"No..mom..no..ayoko sa Maine! Please!!!"

"Thea! fuck! Please wake up!!"

"Ahhhhh!!!!" napamulat akong sumisigaw.

Holy shit.

Una kong nakita ng nag aalalang mukha ni Grayson. Basang basa ako ng pawis at hinihingal.

"Are you okay? You fucking scared me baby! Gusto mo ng tubig?"

Tumango lang ako at bumawi ng hinga.

"How long was I out?" I wiped the tears in my eyes.

Uhaw na uhaw ako.

Inabot niya naman sakin agad yung baso.

"Right after nung galing tayo sa Old Havana, humiga ka na..hindi na kita inistorbo muna..I think 3 hours ka ding nakatulog. It's past 9 in the evening already." His eyes are worried.

Shit.

Manonood pa sana kami ng movie bago mag dinner, pero grabe siguro yung pagod ko kaya nakatulog ako.

"Crap."

"What were you dreaming about?"

"More of a nightmare..Uggghhh I thought hindi na babalik yung mga ganung panaginip." Tumayo ako sa higaan at pumunta sa closet para magpalit ng damit.

"Would you like to share it with me? Baka makatulong pag may kausap ka about it?" Nakaupo lang siya sa kama, and I can feel his concern.

"Tungkol yun sa araw na ipinatapon ako ng nanay ko sa Maine..days after I saw Christopher kissing Junie. I already talked this out with tita Eva's shrink friend. Sabi niya, parang yun daw yung turning point ng buhay ko..that was the time when somehow, my subconcious is starting to decide weather to keep on begging for my parent's love or finally emancipate myself. It's horrible. Napaka vivid kasi nung memory na yun."

I sighed.

Tahimik lang siya.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit napanaginipan ko ulit yun, shit lang." Linapitan ko siya pakabihis at kumalong dito. "Just hold me for a while."

"Always." Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit at pumikit na lang ako, racking my brains out kung bakit ko nanaman yun napanaginipan.

Somehow, I felt better after hugging him.

Grayson is my anchor, and kahit siguro magwala ako sa harapan niya, he would never love me less.

"I think you should read your next letter baby." He spoke.

Kaya pala tahimik dahil nag iisip kanina.

But then again he's right.

"Holy shit, minumulto ba ako nina Freya at Theodore?" the thought irked me.

Hindi naman sa takot ako sa multo or what--kaso malay ko ba? Gusto ba nila basahin ko lahat ng sulat? For what? To wonder what could have been? Mababalik ba noon yung buhay nila?

Ugggghhh.

"You're over thinking baby..try mo lang. Maybe it's all in your head. Nasimulan mo na din naman. I think your parents gave you those to give you and your brother closure."

"Hmmmnn.." I kissed his cheek. "You know what? I think tama ka. Maybe. Just maybe, I need to get over whatever grudge I am still holding. Ugghh. I hate the fact na kahit patay na sila pinapahirapan pa rin nila ako." I frowned.

"You're cute when you're frustrated, tara na kain muna tayo, then I'll leave you to your letters, alam kong dala mo yun."

I pouted at him. Nakita niya siguro yun sa luggage ko.